I am a 33 yo middle eastern living in western Europe. Earlier this year I started dating a 33 yo girl from my country who seemed a nice person. In the beginning, she told me "My family always tells me to find a European guy, but I want to give boys from our country a chance as well". On the second date when she ordered wine and I ordered apple juice, she asked me if I drink alcohol and when I said no, she asked if the reason is religion or health. I said a mix of both and she said if it was only health, she was OK with it but because it is religion, she does not like it and she can't enjoy going to places and she drinks and I do not. She said if she invited me to her uncle's place, he will offer me a bottle of beer and if I refuse he will tease me and make fun of me. I told her I think your uncle doesn't treat guests like this and I promise I will never have an issue with you drinking. Once I ordered a beer for myself so she feels comfortable. She smelled my bottle and when smelled the alcohol, she said "good boy! you see this is normal".
It did not stop there. When we were going to restaurants she liked and I was ordering something vegetarian, she was always telling me because I do not eat non-halal meat and she won't be able to go to every restaurant with me because I won't eat all food. Again, I used to say as you see I am in every restaurant you like and I will promise I will come to any restaurant you like and would eat vegetarian. She was saying I am not eating like normal people. She once questioned my food choice and attacked my decisions that I felt dizzy and wanted to cry. Once after coming out of a restaurant, she told me if I had ordered something with meat instead of fish, she could also have a peace of my food in addition to hers. I told her she could order two pieces of food and I was gonna pay for it anyway. But still, she was telling me she means because I eat different dishes, "it won't be fun to go out with me in the future".
When she came to my apartment and saw it is smaller than 70 qm, she said, she won't give birth in such a small place and I have to buy a home. I told her it is not that easy to afford a home in this economy but we will do so in the future.
Once she had worn very short shorts and I got angry at her. Later I apologized but she said it is her right to wear whatever she likes and I can't say anything. I saw debating won't help and agreed.
I told her I had surgery on my stomach before but it has not changed my diet or anything. Later when I showed her my surgery location, she said "Every time you are showing me a new part of your body and saying you have done an operation there". I got sad and told I did not do the operation because I liked it, I did it because the infection was painful and I could not talk to you about the exact location of it because it was our third date and we were not that close.
She used to talk behind other people who had struggles in their life and she did not have empathy to understand her words are hurting me and others. She never felt bad about her actions and behavior.
I told her many times that it is not a big deal if our food and drinking habits are a bit different and as she sees sometimes I eat meat in other restaurants and drink alcohol as well. But she was not doing anything to save the relationship and she was saying that I am kind but we have different opinions about things and it will be a problem. Last few months I used to do everything to make her happy but she was not doing much. she got distanced and she stopped talking, writing, or meeting. I was sad but I continued my life. For her, it was easy to break up. Things were getting better for me until a couple of weeks ago I saw her kissing a supposedly "Europen guy". I was so sad that I did all that and she easily dumped me. she even did not acknowledge how much she was hurting me and now she is laughing and kissing another guy and I am sitting here asking my sanity and telling myself hundreds of "ifs". "What if I had told her I like you more often", "what if I asked her to give me another chance", "what if..."
I am really devastated and feel really bad. I can't hate her and question why did she continued if she did not like me. How easily she could dump me like I was nothing and now is happy with someone else.