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Original poster

Unsure about dating etiquette / misreading the signs

14 replies

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 01/01/2023 20:22

I've been single for a while now and am fairly new to the dating scene.

I matched with a guy last week on Hinge and we both agreed we'd rather meet in person than have endless online chats. On Friday we met in person for lunch. The date was great. He was lovely, kind, a gentleman, complimentary and the date actually went on for 7 hours with no awkward silences. We had lots in common. We ended it with a brief kiss on the lips, me catching a taxi home whilst he caught a train and him asking me to text him so he knew I got home safe. All very positive!

I texted him to say I was home and we exchanged a few messages on Friday night, nothing overly friendly. I apologised that his journey home was so long and he said it was fine and all worth it.

He was staying in for NYE with family last night, as was I, so we sent a few messages during the evening but I was starting to feel it was a little one-sided (from me). He sent me a text at midnight to say happy new year and I sent one back and then all today... nothing.

I'm just not used to this ... dating ... any of it. I felt like he was very different on messages after the date to how he'd been during the date. Should I just hold out and hope he texts? I don't want to message and appear too keen.

OP posts:
Drinknumber11 · 01/01/2023 20:39

Sometimes after having great first dates with guys I feel like I need a cooling off period for a day or so just to slow things down/see how I feel - maybe he’s also feeling this? It doesn’t mean I’m not into the guy.
In your case I would back off a bit and not text him - let him message you now. Maybe he is busy/tired today? If a guy really wants you he will be in touch. Good luck!

Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/01/2023 22:55

Do nothing
sit on hands don’t message
and focus elsewhere

its so frustrating but I’d back off and do nothing

Summer2424 · 01/01/2023 23:10

Hi @TheresGotToBeMoreToLife i totally get you! i've been there loooads of times. From my experience i let the guy take the lead and chase me!
Stay positive, it'll all be worth it when you find the one ❤

minticecreamisjustok · 01/01/2023 23:13

Go with your feelings on this, you feel it's more one sided, so don't put in more effort than you're getting.

butterfly990 · 01/01/2023 23:19

Have a look at the Matthew Hussey and Matthew Coast you tube posts.

Original poster
TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 02/01/2023 21:51

Still no word. Its just so confusing. How can we go from a 7 hour date to him just not wanting to contact me again? I give up!

OP posts:
minticecreamisjustok · 02/01/2023 22:34

He must of enjoyed your company enough to spend 7 hours with you, but probably didn't feel enough romantic spark with you although like you as a person. First dates can be very confusing, you are both strangers wanting to be polite and both genuinely want to have a connection but having thought about it, they've had second thoughts. Sometimes it's the other way around , they really like you and are miffed to why you don't want to see them again. Dating is hard work, you learn to have a good time without any expectations, don't take it personal, keep going until it's mutual.

Ilovehamandtoast · 02/01/2023 22:36

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 02/01/2023 21:51

Still no word. Its just so confusing. How can we go from a 7 hour date to him just not wanting to contact me again? I give up!

So it's been 23 hrs since you heard from him and assume that's It? Give him a chance...

Ilovehamandtoast · 02/01/2023 22:37

My mistake is 47 hrs. I don't know the day!! But still just give him a chance to message. If not move on.

xfan · 02/01/2023 23:32

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 02/01/2023 21:51

Still no word. Its just so confusing. How can we go from a 7 hour date to him just not wanting to contact me again? I give up!

People sometimes like the ego boost and ego stroking that dating can offer. He could be chatting to other women and has decided that someone else is a more suitable partner?

g3nuine · 03/01/2023 08:17

Even though he spent 7 hours with you it sounds like he a a bit of a player & maybe not as genuine as it appears.

Sorry to let you down a bit but if he REALLY liked your company & was single & available then he would be texting you by now...

Kenny69 · 03/01/2023 08:48

minticecreamisjustok · 02/01/2023 22:34

He must of enjoyed your company enough to spend 7 hours with you, but probably didn't feel enough romantic spark with you although like you as a person. First dates can be very confusing, you are both strangers wanting to be polite and both genuinely want to have a connection but having thought about it, they've had second thoughts. Sometimes it's the other way around , they really like you and are miffed to why you don't want to see them again. Dating is hard work, you learn to have a good time without any expectations, don't take it personal, keep going until it's mutual.

I think it’s probably this ^^, it might be a thanks , but no thanks, from him.
Sorry.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/01/2023 15:14

I’m this instance I’d delete his number and the chat

this way they won’t be lingering in your phone

I’d assume not interested and chalk to experience

and IF he texts again be wary 😒

and see who else is out there !

Twen · 03/01/2023 15:26

I would leave this and not chase him x

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