Please advise on where to start with regards to leaving....

[Newstart2023]

Hello,
Not married (I know, stupid me) 2 children, mortgage, own half - probably worth 320, still have 160 left to pay on mortgage - not sure how much fees etc will be but I will have some when the house is sold but what do I do before then? I need to leave, such a horrible environment for my children. I don't have a job or savings (I know , again stupid me) I'm job hunting but nursery's near me are £80 a day and rent is 1200. I need a kick up the bum. Where do I start?! No parents or family to help out, sorry I'm rambling on but feel alone and no idea what to do.

being married isn’t an achievement

Can you stay with someone for a little while to begin with? Would your husband allow you to stay in the house for a while and he could move out, while you get yourself sorted a bit more?

Hi Op

Its good that you have some equity in the house. How old are the children?

Your STBEX would be required to pay child maintenance, and depending on the children’s age you should get some free hours at nursery.

You could rent, but wouldn’t be entitled to UC if you had savings over a certain amount, and I assume the pay off from the house would count.

Would you be able to look for a job? Even if you kept half of your house pay off towards a deposit at the later date you should have enough to keep you going for a while until you find your feet?

Good luck, it’s not easy but in my case it was definitely worth it.

I think OP was implying that marriage gives more legal protection re assets, as a SAHM she is quite vulnerable in this respect.

in your shoes I would start with finding someone to talk to about your options. Citizens Advice or Woman’s Aid perhaps?

I don’t think she was implying that it is, just that she would have more financial protection right now if they were married. Pensions, savings etc would all be on the table.

But it is a legal agreement that offers certain protections and requirements when it is dissolved.

OP, are you joint tennants or or tennants in common on the house? What kind of work are you looking for?

There was a thread from a single mum working who was astounded how much universal credit she was entitled to. It took her from just about managing to living comfortably. It was quite a positive account of universal credit doing what it’s intended, which is to reward people for working.

if I were you I would start looking into housing options, get on waiting lists for social housing, and look into benefit entitlements. I don’t think you will be entitled if you have a lump sum from house sale, but will when savings fall lower. Anyway, research all this properly.

Thanks for all the helpful advice so far. Probably outing with my other information but oh well, I'm qualified in childcare. My children 7 and 2. I've looked at nanny jobs I could take my youngest with me to but no luck plus nannying isn't the most stable profession, so need something more secure. No no family to stay with and he won't move out so pretty stuck. X

Also I did an estimate on what I thought my earnings could be as I wanted to enquire about property and they wouldn't even let me look at it as I wouldn't earn enough or have a guarantor, even with me saying about the house it was an instant no.

OP, please consider any job to entitle you to UC and go from there. Care of the children are 50% his responsibility so you could work unsociable hours if needed around him. Otherwise he needs to provide financially for you whilst house sale goes through. Please see a solicitor.

Could you consider a school job with your qualifications? That could work better around your children? Contact gingerbread for advise on hours needed to work. Sometimes having a mortgage works negatively with uc but every situation is different. Would he leave? Could you stay in the house.