We decided to separate a few weeks ago. He has a house ready to move into mid January. I still love him very much but the problems between us are too big to keep putting us both through. We can’t communicate. He earns £32k a year, but is always “skint” (he gives me £200 weekly towards bills. Sometimes less if he hasn’t got it & I work full time too). No household maintenance gets done unless I do it and pay for it (eg I fitted a 2nd hand kitchen myself - despite him being in the building industry and should be able to do some things himself). Intellectually we’re incompatible and I find myself irritated by having to help him do basic things. He’s never remembered a birthday, never surprised me with anything, no weekends away, date nights, or even a takeaway night just for the two of us. I feel like I’m his mother and he’s a lazy teenager.
BUT - I do love and care for him - he’s not a bad person, he’s a likeable guy, friendly and everyone who meets him loves him. Im anxious about how he will manage on his own. I could easily stop the separation for his benefit so I know he’s ok, but I know things will never get better for me. I’ve had 4 children and I feel I’ve spent enough years looking after others.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?