I ask this because my ex and I met when I was at a low point. At first it was exciting and fun, he made promises of a good life. Within months I fell pregnant, he wanted me to have an abortion but I refused. Eventually he turned up at my door saying he wanted to live with me.
Once he was in things changed. As long as he was getting fed, had a roof over his head and had his creature comforts-plenty of sex - he was reasonably happy but boring, didn't want to do anything, go anywhere despite his promises. He had no interest in our son. I got sterilised because he wouldn't have a vasectomy- I was 35,he was 24, and things spiralled down hill for the next fifteen year despite my efforts to keep him happy sexually as well as in other ways.
We seperated and both remarried. I'm now with someone who is everything the ex was not - kind,generous, sociable,adventerous, the only thing is - I can't let myself go intimately, the ex is always there. Recently he has been back in touch,after twelve years, suggesting we meet for a drink and saying he's changed. Alarm bells are ringing as he's saying how unhappy he is with his wife and how he should have stuck it out with me. I'm having feelings of excitement, like when we first met and caution. What should I do.