Anyone else seriously reevaluating their relationship after a crap Christmas?

[Newyearwhatnow]

My Christmas was basically all work no play. I did all the preparation including a lovely day for dh's relatives (who didn't lift a finger and are generally miserable). We were meant to go away for a few days but I came down with flu. That can't be helped but what surprised me was that dh basically ignored me for 3 days. Not even a cup of tea! (And I did ask). Did the bare minimum for the kids.

This always seems to happen on the rare occasions I am ill. It's like he just goes on to standby until I recover and take over. No conversation, no companionship. It's just going to be like this forever, isn't it? I feel like I'm just the drudge.

We've had this horrible flu too! Partner has been off a week now, we've barley left the house, the times we have is to visit family or to the shops, no family time, no outings anywhere, I can't actually wait for next week and back to normality of just me and the kids and going to play groups and to the park, just getting out! Partner has managed 3 nights out with mates but if I mention we go out and do something as a family it's I feel rough with the flu today or I'd rather have (annother) movie day.

Dh hasn't had it though!!

This Christmas has been the final straw for me; I did everything in the run up while working a stressful job with no help from DH and of the things I did ask him to do he forgot and needed so many reminders that it was more work to ask him. He made sure he was sorted for Christmas but no real thought for me. Then afterwards I was ill and he did the bare minimum for the kids and only got me stuff when directly asked. He treated me being ill as an inconvenience and acted like doing the basic stuff the kids was him doing something amazing.
I’m not doing it again and for me it’s showed how little he really thinks about what I might need or want.

I see no point to your marriage whatsoever. I can't even fathom my husband being that disrespectful and uncaring. Fuck that. Anyone would be better off single.

2018 was my 40th year - ex'D'H ruined that for me. Christmas 2018 was the final straw...New Year 2019 I broke free and haven't looked back since. He really didn't give a shit about me and I finally left - he really didn't believe I would. The divorce papers I served in late 2019 proved I was deadly serious.

Do what you think is right OP - no one has to stay in a dead relationship.

Bottom line: your partner should have your back. How they behave when you’re ill shows you whether they do or not. Just one time (out of 30 years spent together - I’ve been v lucky with my health to date) I had flu and XH shouted at me that he couldn’t stand me. Lesson learned, he was in the bin within a year. Fuck that.

Hmmm, definitely feeling this. He leaves all the present and food shopping to me. Not even contributing ideas for his family despite me asking. Couldn't be bothered to do outside xmas decs, went off to the gym and didn't help decorate inside. He got in a mood, he gets in a lot of moods.
I got the flu and he has frequently, 'jokingly' told me how disgusting I am. He has made dinners and brought me hot drinks. Had to be nagged to take the kids anywhere except to the local park. I'm fed up too so feeling your pain. I really hope he gets the flu so he can feel horrid!!!

After Christmas 2014 we waved goodbye to our 21 year old daughter as she left to go back to University- I closed the front door and realised that was it
Within 24 hrs we had split up after 28 yrs together
I have never looked back
it should have happened before but that Christmas was the final straw
I couldn't stay with him any longer

He has since remarried
I have never been happier
Dont waste the rest of your life

Feel the same, my present ‘lost’ by courier and no attempt to get a replacement. We are fine as part of a family / friend group but have absolutely no intimacy and have been in separate beds for a year. Need to initiate a separation but I’m scared about the process and who will live where