selfish people

[Dinkiedoo]

I have always gone out of my way to help people. Been an ear for relatives and friends . My husband has said I should stop it as it has begun to take its toll on me.
During lock down my sister would be on the phone telling me how bad she felt how tired she was etc etc . then texting me in between . Same with my sister in law and another friend.

Im now at a stage through one thing and another where I am low and I need someone to talk to . Where are they ? No where thats where.
My new years resolution is to not be there any more . Its sad but I need to look after myself now.

Hi op yes put yourself first. I found that too lifts for kids sports and other things too. All about them. It was take take. Phone only rang if they need something. Hope u ok

Some people are like that, Dinkiedoo, it's very disappointing when you've given them so much of yourself.

We're here, if you want to talk, about what you're going through, or any old random chat

I found the same thing. Always here to chat if you want to vent away.

You can't really control other people's actions, only your own.
It's quite passive aggressive to talk about other people like this.
Maybe they don't feel well enough to take on your issues as well as their own.
That's OK and is honest, it doesn't make them selfish.
Put yourself and your needs first, THEN other peoples, it's not a transaction.

Ps
Your DH is telling you in effect that you need better boundaries .
I would work on this.

Have you asked? I mean, have you tried calling y`our sister or SIL and said, "I really need to talk."

If they are used to you being the strong one it may be it hasn't occurred to them to check in with you. Not that they don't want to.