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Original poster

Partner using chatlines

5 replies

SquirrelySponges · 31/12/2022 01:39

We have had a really rough year and have a young child together. For one reason or another we haven't actually had sex for about 6 weeks, though we have "done bits". We always had a very sexual relationship so I know I've not been there for my OH in that sense lately but I have recently discovered that he has been using premium chat lines when I've gone out. The longest was for 10 mins. He doesn't know I know but it has really upset me. I don't know whether to confront him or accept that this is his way of getting some release while I haven't been providing any and maybe if I showed him more affection he wouldn't. This is a better option than cheating. But then again I'm upset and he would be if the roles were reversed. I just wondered if I'm going mad? WWYD?

OP posts:
SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 02:04

Don't blame yourself! Chat lines are interactive and it means he has been speaking to an actual woman. Watching porn would have been more acceptable for a "release".
You said you've had a rough year and he should understand that and support you. Please don't blame yourself for his behaviour.
I would be extremely upset and be having some real crisis talks over this.

Moser85 · 31/12/2022 02:25

It was only 6 weeks OP! 6 weeks! And you've 'done bits'.

He should be able to cope perfectly fine during a dry spell without contacting chatlines.

If your partner went off sex for a few weeks would you go off and get a sexual thrill and 'release' from another man? No, no you wouldn't.

You said you've always had a very sexual relationship and he's risked ruining that completely AND ruining your relationship by doing this. I would consider this to be cheating.

SugarplumFairyyy · 31/12/2022 02:37

Moser85 · 31/12/2022 02:25

It was only 6 weeks OP! 6 weeks! And you've 'done bits'.

He should be able to cope perfectly fine during a dry spell without contacting chatlines.

If your partner went off sex for a few weeks would you go off and get a sexual thrill and 'release' from another man? No, no you wouldn't.

You said you've always had a very sexual relationship and he's risked ruining that completely AND ruining your relationship by doing this. I would consider this to be cheating.

This ^

Watchkeys · 31/12/2022 05:34

Why on earth would you think you were going mad? Your partner is looking for sexual experiences outside of your relationship after a 6 week not-quite-dry-spell, and you're upset about it. Would you genuinely expect anyone in a committed relationship to feel fine with this?

dolor · 31/12/2022 06:00

If you're still doing sexual things rather than fully engaging in intercourse, and he's using chatlines now, he's probably been using them all along.

There are a lot of men doing this, and they mostly use a secret PAYG phone for it.

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