Technical WhatsApp question about potentially cheating H. Can any WhatsApp afficionados give me some quick advice?

[Power2harrumph]

i have one of those WhatsApp logging apps which show when someone is online and how long they are online for and it collects stats throughout the day.

H has his “last seen” enabled but for some reason (and this happens every night when he disappears off upstairs) the “last seen” shows as around 10pm as if he has gone to sleep. But the WhatsApp logger records him as being online several times after this past midnight etc. Yet the time stamp for “last seen” on our WhatsApp chat stays the same - 10pm.

is there a setting on WhatsApp where you can set your last seen for certain individuals to stay at a particular time?

What's the app didn't think those were real. I'm in a similar situation. Mine has his last seen stuck and he will reply and it just stays the same from a day before.

If he is replying to messages from the notifications on the Home Screen then his WhatsApp last seen time won’t change as he isn’t opening the app

I think if you reply directly from the notification on the Lock Screen (rather than opening up the app to respond), it doesn’t update your last seen time? Not 100% but am sure I’ve noticed this with friends in the past.

I think if he doesn't actually go into the app but just replies to WhatsApp notifications it won't alter his last seen.

He might have been last online at 10pm, but has been answering messages without opening the WhatsApp app, by just replying to the header on the home page.
Hope that makes sense.

Why would you have an app like that? I don't understand how that is ok.

Why are you stalking him?

If you're monitoring to this degree, there is no trust.
Surely you're better off leaving than driving yourself crazy with this?

Exactly

This is horribly invasive, what on earth are you doing? Unless your husband has form for cheating, why would you use something like that?

It's possible to turn your last seen off but then you can't see anyone else's

If you need an app that tracks your husband's every move online then you may as well just get divorced now.

So if everything you say is accurate OP he is chatting away via notifications.

Does this information make you feel better or worse?

You say he disappears upstairs at 10pm. So you don't go up to bed together ever? Why not go up with him he can be on phone you can be on your phone or read just doing it in bed with each other. Or do you think he goes upstairs just to talk on WhatsApp privately with someone he knows you would be pissed off about? If so why don't you just confront him surely anything is better than just imagining all sorts.

Deary me. Coercive control in the making...

Thank you for letting me know about the notification thing. He does have form for cheating and I am just checking. This will be the last straw

It does sound like he could be cheating.
It sounds like your relationship is in trouble, the cheating, the mistrust (understandable!) the distance between you.
I feel that when a relationship is like this it's better to make plans to leave. I know that's a privileged viewpoint because finances are the thing that can keep you trapped in a relationship with a cheat, but if you can, think about leaving. Do you really want to spend your life living like this?

Do those Apos work on any contact in your WhatsApp or do you have to somehow connect the other phone to it?

sorry, not sure I've explained that well enough.

basically, coukd anyone be tracking my use like that or only someone who has had access to my phone to accept it/change setting etc?

@Power2harrumph 'the last straw' was something that happened previously to make you be checking up on him like this. It's no life. Bring single is infinitely better!!

This is so sad OP. It’s no way to live.

Get rid of him. You're using a tracking app to see what he's up to, you already know what he's doing, so it's time to confront him.