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Original poster

On the verge of ending relationship

11 replies

maverickfangirl · 30/12/2022 21:02

I've been with my boyfriend around 18 months. We don't live together but are planning too move in together soon.

We've spent weeks together in the past and been fine, but this week I'm verging on ending things.
He's been at mine since Christmas Eve, the first few days were ok but since Tuesday, every little thing he's doing is irritating me.
He farts constantly, he complains about normal noises such as the doorbell being too loud, cutlery on plates, clock ticking - these are a few examples. However he taps non stop!! It can be tapping on himself, on a drinks can, table etc.
He doesn't like to go to bed till around 11.30ish so I've had non stop late nights when I want to go to bed earlier as I'm feeling under the weather.

The bottom straw is that we have last minute plans for NYE, however I have an appointment at midday.
He's going on about needing to leave by 2pm (we've got a drive to do) but realistically 4pm would be the latest we need to go.
He's been going on and on about it today and it's taken all my strength not to snap and say I'm not going.

I'm seriously considering ending things or at least saying we need a break from each other for a while but I know I'll be absolutely devastated if we do split.

I just don't know what to do right now

OP posts:
SunflowerTed · 30/12/2022 21:19

a frank discussion is needed. It takes awhile to adjust to living with someone. Dont be too hasty before shoving him down the rotten egg Shute

Twen · 30/12/2022 21:24

This is a bit confusing I don't see anything major here. All men fart. It seems like a big deal to end a relationship over these seemingly minor annoyances. There must be other issues for you?

Original poster
maverickfangirl · 30/12/2022 21:37

Twen · 30/12/2022 21:24

This is a bit confusing I don't see anything major here. All men fart. It seems like a big deal to end a relationship over these seemingly minor annoyances. There must be other issues for you?

That's just a minor annoyance.
But when someone is constantly complaining about things like annoying noises but then makes annoying noises and their answer is 'I can't help it' when you mention the noise, it's annoying.

I don't know, I feel like I've got 'the ick' that people talk about

OP posts:
TenTeo · 30/12/2022 21:39

It sounds like you don’t want to be in this relationship. He hasn’t done anything particularly bad but you don’t need a reason to end a relationship if you want out.

JustKittenAround · 30/12/2022 21:46

Get some space. You might not be seeing clearly because your both annoyed. Or you might very well be seeing clearly and not liking the picture. Get some space and then talk about it if it’s worth it to you.

I hate that women have to do the heavy lifting but if he isn’t the type who can sense your unhappiness and then care enough to try to talk about it then he won’t. Personally, I wouldn’t waste my precious time with that type but that’s me.

Obviously, he can’t read your mind but some time to not be so annoyed is needed. Then the tone will be correct and a real conversation can take place. People get defensive when someone comes at them with annoyance so.. calm is king.

I am betting if your THIS annoyed (enough to make a post) a lot more is going on. I think if you’re honest with yourself you see more than just the timing of sleep..maybe how he disregards your comfort when you’re ill? Things like that?

I wish you the best of course, but do take some time to get a little space and really go over why you are feeling this way. I am willing to bet these smaller issues are symptoms of much larger ones.

allboysherebutme · 30/12/2022 21:52

End the relationship you will not be happy. X

ACynicalDad · 30/12/2022 21:54

Don’t move in together, just keep spending more time at each others homes, much less messy to split when you haven’t merged.

Nandocushion · 30/12/2022 21:57

ACynicalDad · 30/12/2022 21:54

Don’t move in together, just keep spending more time at each others homes, much less messy to split when you haven’t merged.

This, Or, if you still want to live together, find a way to spend 2 weeks or so together when you haven't also got the stresses of holidays/Christmas to worry about and see how it goes then.

Alcemeg · 30/12/2022 22:16

I'm intrigued by the tapping, OP! Is he a drummer?! 😃

Sounds like your impending plans to live together has made you both focus sharply on things that could get on your nerves if you permanently cohabited.

Maybe stick with the current arrangement for now? You don't have to split up just because you don't move in with each other.

Opentooffers · 30/12/2022 22:16

Don't be bullied into rushing on NYE, do what you have to do beforehand. If he doesn't like it, tell him to go without you. Then you've gained thinking time, and so has he, you'll miss each other, or you won't.

Original poster
maverickfangirl · 30/12/2022 22:39

Opentooffers · 30/12/2022 22:16

Don't be bullied into rushing on NYE, do what you have to do beforehand. If he doesn't like it, tell him to go without you. Then you've gained thinking time, and so has he, you'll miss each other, or you won't.

Oh I won't be rushing at all. He won't have a damn choice about that!

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