Has dating always been this difficult?

[Datinghellscape]

I'll fully admit that despite being in my 40s I'm naive with relationships and probably have some level of ASD which has led to me getting played more times than I really want to admit to.

I've been single for a few years and have got back into dating via OLD. I'm able to field off the really obvious perverts and time wasters but I had 2 guys I was really enjoying talking to and was making plans with for this weekend for first dates. One has ghosted me after really chasing hard and suggesting we meet, the other has turned into a raving pervert and I've had to block him.

I don't remember dating being this hard in the past. Maybe because I've never gone dating before I've just been hit round the head with a man bluntly telling me he likes me shall we go for a drink and developed from there. I hate this and don't have the energy for this way of meeting men who clearly only want an ego boost. It's the hard chase and ghost that completely confuses me, what is that about?

I'm sorry you have experienced this. I'm afraid it has always been this way though. I was ghosted back in the 00s before internet dating was a thing and people havent really changed. BUT, I do think internet dating has perhaps made it easier for people to ghost purely because they have so many more options- literally swiping people right and left on people with only a photo and a tiny description kind of enhances this idea that people arent human beings, they are just multiple faces on a screen that you can discard instantly because the next one is right there. Whereas before, you'd get to know someone and connect with them which made it harder to just disappear on them. Its kind of like how we used to have only 5 tv channels but now we have thousands to choose from so we end up spending ages just flicking through, not really watching anything specific. So, to answer your question, people havent changed but dating methods have which has probably made it easier for people to discard others much more easily.

I've not tried it for the past year but I would talk to about 10 guys on average before a date was set with any of them, due to them being weird or they had put me off and that's just with the ones I was picky enough to match with.

People have always been the same. You could avoid those who chase you hard, and only go for those with a more sustainable contact pattern. This is about where your boundaries are, rather than the deterioration of the dating world.