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Original poster

EX keeps messaging me!!

15 replies

Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 22:41

Hi everyone.

I just want some of your thoughts.

So I have a previous thread on here about 2 years and 5 months ago where I had just got married after being with my ex husband for 8 years and him then cheating on me 6 months into our marriage. Off course we split up as the head games and the emotional and mental destruction I was put through really got me in a dark place. He has been with this woman for 2 years now and has had a baby with her she's now one years old but the last few months he's been texting me a lot, nothing sexual or anything like that but just general conversations and always about our children our two boys. Now I've moved on I'm with someone else and I'm having a baby with my new partner which he knows about. It's only been the last few months he's been texting me every other day and I do also believe it's when his missus isn't around too...... am I right in thinking that maybe he's now realising the grass isn't greener??? It's just weird because it's been more soo since knowing I'm pregnant and with someone else. Jealousy maybe? It's very odd as he's not done this previously..... maybe I'm thinking too much into it but I thought I would ask you for your thoughts on this situation. Off course I would never go back there! But I've heard that men don't always grieve relationships like us women straight away, we grieve it there and then and then we move on and then it takes the male a while for them too realise and grieve the relationship? 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 29/12/2022 23:20

Nothing to do with realising the grass is greener. More likely he is the sort of person who is never happy with what he HAS. Also, still saw you as his toy, just a toy he'd put in the cupboard. And now you're with another man, having their child, he is annoyed. Because - How dare you move on. You weren't supposed to do that. You had no right.

Sorry hon, he isn't grieving anything. He didn't care about you then. He doesn't now. And he never will. But nor does he care about his current partner. How do I know that? Because emotionally healthy men don't play mind games, they don't go around emotionally and mentally destroying people. That is the domain of the emotionally void (narcissists and similar). And the are proficient in greed, cruelty, disloyalty and vengeance. But not in repentance, empathy or love.

harrassedmumto3 · 29/12/2022 23:26

Really, he's just a pig. End of story.

Opentooffers · 29/12/2022 23:28

Well, it does take 2 to have a conversation, so I'd say if he's messaging every couple of days, then it's also because you are entertaining it and replying. Is your current partner fine with the level of communication between you?

minticecreamisjustok · 29/12/2022 23:30

You have children so if the conversation is just about them, then it isn't anything sneaky. If you feel it's too much just hold off replying too quickly and shorter answers. I just reply 'ok' to my exh which I'm sure baffles him to why I don't care to get in much conversation with him.

Don't fuel the fire, only communicate what is necessary, if he has any regrets they are his problems.

Abigail69 · 29/12/2022 23:31

As my mum used to say, "you can't clap with one hand."
So block him, it is really as simple as that.

My ex kept on texting me and I blocked him but missed him and unblocked him and when he was happy and I texted him he would not reply and then he blocked me and I blocked him and that was the end of it.

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:31

Pinkbonbon · 29/12/2022 23:20

Nothing to do with realising the grass is greener. More likely he is the sort of person who is never happy with what he HAS. Also, still saw you as his toy, just a toy he'd put in the cupboard. And now you're with another man, having their child, he is annoyed. Because - How dare you move on. You weren't supposed to do that. You had no right.

Sorry hon, he isn't grieving anything. He didn't care about you then. He doesn't now. And he never will. But nor does he care about his current partner. How do I know that? Because emotionally healthy men don't play mind games, they don't go around emotionally and mentally destroying people. That is the domain of the emotionally void (narcissists and similar). And the are proficient in greed, cruelty, disloyalty and vengeance. But not in repentance, empathy or love.

Yes you are right. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:32

Opentooffers · 29/12/2022 23:28

Well, it does take 2 to have a conversation, so I'd say if he's messaging every couple of days, then it's also because you are entertaining it and replying. Is your current partner fine with the level of communication between you?

Well he will ask questions about the kids like silly pointless ones but I answer because it's about the kids but I feel he asks because he wants to contact me if that makes sense...

OP posts:
Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:33

minticecreamisjustok · 29/12/2022 23:30

You have children so if the conversation is just about them, then it isn't anything sneaky. If you feel it's too much just hold off replying too quickly and shorter answers. I just reply 'ok' to my exh which I'm sure baffles him to why I don't care to get in much conversation with him.

Don't fuel the fire, only communicate what is necessary, if he has any regrets they are his problems.

This is true. I do feel he texts about the kids deliberately though as an excuse because he could actually asks me them questions when he picks them up or drops them off

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 29/12/2022 23:35

Hi @Leanne1191 i defo think he's now realised the grass isn't greener and jealous that you've moved on!
Congratulations on your pregnancy yay!

monkeysmum21 · 29/12/2022 23:36

Unless it’s an emergency, just reply during “office hours”, no during family/couple time.
keep it business type.

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:38

Summer2424 · 29/12/2022 23:35

Hi @Leanne1191 i defo think he's now realised the grass isn't greener and jealous that you've moved on!
Congratulations on your pregnancy yay!

Thank you! I'm having a girl! I've got three boys already💖🥂🥳

That's what I was thinking.... or he's just being a pig of a man like someone said above 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:39

monkeysmum21 · 29/12/2022 23:36

Unless it’s an emergency, just reply during “office hours”, no during family/couple time.
keep it business type.

Yes I'm going to start doing this. I don't want it to upset my new relationship because what he is doing isn't fair really. I've been honest with my new partner off course he's not happy but I will start to ignore them or reply later like someone mentioned above

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 29/12/2022 23:42

Yeah sometimes they do that like my ex won't ask about the kids even when he knew they were ill but as soon as there was a man on the scene suddenly he wanted "updates" and to come to the Dr's with me he made it to one dentist appointment and slank off under his bridge again he only asks now if his girlfriend prompts him I literally updated him today on important test results for his "beloved first born" (seriously who calls there child that?) And 12 hours on nothing no response no acknowledgement not even a thumbs up 🤡 if its not serving a purpose pushing his narrative he isnt interested

Theblacksheepandme · 29/12/2022 23:48

It sounds to me like you're flattered by his attention and you're entertaining it. If you moved on you really shouldn't care about what your ex is thinking.

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 29/12/2022 23:50

Theblacksheepandme · 29/12/2022 23:48

It sounds to me like you're flattered by his attention and you're entertaining it. If you moved on you really shouldn't care about what your ex is thinking.

Wouldn't say flattered I find with strange. It's only been since he found I was pregnant.

I won't be entertaining it anymore. If it's serious I will I just don't get it or maybe if he's up to something.....

OP posts:
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