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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice appreciated

4 replies

undertherainbow123 · 29/12/2022 21:03

Good evening,
I am looking for some advice and I have no one to turn to.

I recently married my partner of 5 years. Less than 6 months ago. We have had an up and down relationship with highs and lows before getting married, and I somehow naively thought that once we got married things would be much better. Our wedding was postponed due to Covid and blamed majority of our arguments on wedding stress. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and have been having a rough time with it. It’s certainly not the romantic, beautiful experience I hoped for or believed it would be. I somehow thought our problems would also clear up once again now that we are having a baby, but again, they are still here.

We argue over his parents constantly. FIL isn’t so bad just doesn’t know boundaries but my MIL is another level. Manipulates my husband and seems to create issues around milestone occasions, leaving us both miserable. My husband is too weak to stand up to her leaving me to do the fighting and looking like the big bad wolf. I’m at the end of my tether with it all. I want to enjoy my pregnancy, I want to enjoy all the times we are lucky enough to be experiencing. I want us to have a nice life and be happy, but it’s left me questioning my feeling towards him.

I’m worried that the constant arguments and stress are hurting my baby. Sometimes I don’t know whether it’s best to consider separating. Do I continue being this unhappy having to put up with my mother in law or do I walk and move on with my life, and my husband can see our baby half the time. People have said she will change once the baby is here, but I know her too well. She won’t. This situation will only get worse and I wish I walked when our wedding was postponed but I was too proud to admit it wasn’t working. Advice please. Thank you

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 29/12/2022 21:12

First off, congrats on the baby.
But I do believe you made a mistake marrying this man. And marrying into this family. Relationships should not have much in the ways of ups and downs (at least in terms of personal drama). If they do...they're unhealthy.

Realistically, I'd be looking into the practicalities of going it alone and getting out before the baby comes and you're too exhausted until it starts nursery to be able to leave him.

You deserve to be with a man who is not a coward and who loves and protects you from nasty people. Or at least, to be your own champion, and love and protect yourself.

Life is too short to waste on a man who doesn't have your back. Around people who are constantly at your throat.

Parrotid · 29/12/2022 21:13

Christ that’s a bit harsh!!!

You just need to have absolutely cast iron boundaries for your MIL and your rather wet sounding husband.

Pinkbonbon · 29/12/2022 21:14

Ps: dont beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. what define us is how we correct them and learn from them in future.

undertherainbow123 · 29/12/2022 21:57

What’s harsh sorry?

OP posts:
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