I'm a woman and people have often said throughout my life 'I'll bet your dad is really proud of you'. The answer to this is no. He has never had any interest in me. I remember being a child and it was like he was competing with me for my mum's attention. And he would act like a jealous, older sibling.
He's also incredibly selfish, even to this day. If we go round to my parents for dinner with my daughters, there is this unspoken rule that my dad is going to have to eat at least twice what everyone else has, otherwise he'll have a fit.
It annoys me that my mum's choices have given me this crappy father, who never once was able to nurture my ability or provide genuine guidance. My mum had to be with someone disordered because she needs to be needed and needs to be told how well she's doing.
My parents are toxic. But I've never come across with anyone who has a dad like mine. Bizarrely, he also seems to have more time for his sister and my cousins than he does for his wife and me. This is weird....
My mum annoys me because she complains about how his selfish, childish behaviour impacts on her and expects me to empathise, but when that behaviour is directed at me, she sticks up for him 🤬
It's just so pathetic. I've been through therapy and I've tried to make myself an emotionally healthy parent for my own children.
I'm just wondering what is the cause of behaviour like the above.