At what age of dc does relationship get easier?

[Worriedaboutmybrother]

Exactly that really. I have 3 very young DC and currently cannot stand my DH 😅 a genuine hatred and despair. When we’re on our own we’re absolutely fine, before kids we were fine, he makes me laugh, I fancy him and love him however..

We snap at everything with each other, everything he does pisses me right off, we can be nasty and short with each other. We’re good at communicating (used to be terrible) but it doesn’t stop the snapping. Recently seen an interview where Michelle Obama said she hated barrack when their dc were young so before I get my 30 minutes free from the divorce solicitor..

When/does it get easier? Or will I hate him forever? 😅

My youngest is nearly 3 and I'm finding it easier now. Getting to sleep through the night made a big difference and she's starting preschool so I will get some time back during the week.

Ours are 1,2&6. Youngest is sleeping through but the 1&2yo still wake around 5am (sometimes earlier) for the day so we can’t even say it’s disturbed sleep sadly, just early wake ups.

The only time I held a grudge was when I was BF as that was the one thing he couldn't do, once that bit was over (and especially when I went back to work so everything just evened out again) things were fine, so 9 months. Only have 2 kids though. Have always made sure we make time for each other.

Ah I breastfeed until dc are around 3 so that’s a while off yet 😩 I’m an old hack at it though so it really make me feel anything negative towards him so for me it’s definitely not the breastfeeding that’s the issue, I think he’s just a tosser to have kids with 😅

Never….mum to 3, 25, 30 and 35…gets harder

@Throwncrumbs Ah bollocks

Agree with PP, ours are 11 and 13. DW still hates me.

If I had 1/2/6 year olds I’d probably hate dp too. It’s the exhaustion. You only have so much mental energy, so it gets spent on the kids. Meanwhile you’re at each others throats just trying to keep the ship running. I have a 4 year old and things started getting better around 2.5/3 years old. It will get better when the littlest ones get older.

From Day 1, after the birth of a child, the feeling of a competition for the woman between husband and child starts. And both husband and wife feel it. This feeling can linger for a long time, as adaptation can be difficult. The baby, then the toddler, then the infant require a lot attention from the mother, and the husband may feel he is left out. He may develop animosity towards the child, and if the wife senses this, it may make the situation worse. The sooner the couple adapt to and accept the new situation, the better the situation becomes between man and wife. The needs of an infant then a juvenile are different, and husband and wife have to adapt to new situations. But above all, they should make time for themselves, irrespective of the needs of their children. One important point and difficulty is for the woman to maintain a certain balance between caring for the child or children and her husband.

This.

Ditched him completely when youngest was 19, but relationship had been falling apart for 11 years by then. Strangely, baby and toddler years were best (3 DC, v close together)