DW and I have been together for a number of years. We are both women.
Our roles in the home have changed throughout our relationship- at the beginning I worked more and earned more whereas she was still trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life, was working part time and for a low wage. When it was this dynamic she wasn't excellent at taking on more of a role at home to balance it out but it was enough to get by.
Last year I burnt out of my career and became quite unwell just as DW found a well paid full time job in a sector she enjoyed. Our roles changed overnight really and I became the sole household person, which given we have two dogs with additional needs and multiple disabilities in the home (I have physical disabilities & I'm autistic, DW has ADHD), takes up quite a bit of time.
I increased my hours more as time went by, and now I work full time hours again, however the dynamic of housework etc has not shifted.
DW has now left her job. She was really struggling and needed time out - fair enough. She's not working from an earning money perspective, instead filling her time with projects that she hopes will make money in the meantime. I have tried to redelegate things a bit just to make it more fair and there has been major pushback. A lot of the time I would end up doing it instead which is a mistake tbh so I've stopped, instead letting her chores build up.
Last night I mentioned in passing that it's been a good while since the dishwasher has been on (one of her only jobs). She immediately got incredibly defensive and has been given me the silent treatment since. Today I tried to communicate that this really isn't ok and she completely blanked me.
Later on she randomly made me a hot chocolate (whilst still giving me silent treatment), and I said I'd rather an apology - she lost her shit and then continued to ignore me.
I have a vulnerable friend missing at the moment and have been juggling constant police calls as well as the house, the dogs, etc whilst she sits there gaming.
I really cannot be fucked with this anymore tbh. It's such shit treatment and I deserve better. I'm so fed up of doing EVERYTHING and this is really not someone I want to stay with or have children with, as it stands.