Hi, background is me and exH split nearly 7 years ago, very acrimonious, he cheated numerous times, final straw was when it was again when I was pg with our youngest and we split then, divorced the following year. As I said, not been great, he chopped and changed contact (we have 3 dc) messed maintenance about etc and also likes to bad mouth me and my husband (married 3 yrs together nearly 5) to the dc. I never rise to it, just make ‘oh really’ type comments if they say things and say that it’s not nice to be nasty about people if they’ve said he’s called one of us a name etc.
We now only communicate via email so there is a trail of everything he says, he used to phone saying horrible things to me so I won’t put myself in that position anymore. He currently has the children every other weekend, no contact in between that, never asks how they’re getting on in school, never wants to attend parents evenings or school productions, poor daddy would love go but is always too busy they tell me blah blah blah.
Anyway, the point of post, me and DH have an 8 month old baby, she has recently been diagnosed with a medical condition, she’s had two short hospital admission’s and we’re getting our heads around it all and explained to the children in children friendly ways (on advice from the doctor how best to explain). So the children have obviously mentioned this to their father (who again had nasty things to say about our baby when I was pg with her) because yesterday my sweet little 6 yr old says to us all ‘I know what we can call 8 month old we can call her medical condition name baby’. I was gobsmacked, I told her it wasn’t a nice thing to say and who on earth had said it to her? She looked upset and said ‘daddy said it’ my two elder dc were there at the time and neither one of them said that he hadn’t both just stood in silence. I did get very upset and told her that it was a horrible thing to say and daddy was very nasty for making fun of a baby who is unwell.
Then tonight I’ve checked my 12 yr old ds phone as I do periodically and he’d sent his dad a meme type video of a man having no money when he had a wife but loads when he’s single and captioned it ‘like when you were with mum’ and ex has agreed. This would tie in with my youngest telling me a few weeks ago that daddy said I took all his pennies when he used to live with us because I didn’t work so had none and took his.
What do I do? How do I stop my children being told this stuff? Can I refuse him contact? Making fun of a sick baby is just vile and all the rest I’ve just had enough.