Boyfriend always wants me to go to his

[Sotireed95]

Boyfriend and I both work in city A, I live in city B about 40 mins outside of A and he lives in C, another 30 mins or further from me. Neither of us drive so we either Uber or bus / tube to each other’s houses. He lives on his own whereas I live with others. He prefers me coming to him because of privacy and in fairness I do enjoy it, he cooks for me etc. it’s costly though to taxi there constantly (takes one hour by transport vs 20/30 mins by taxi) and obviously out of my way which he does get. Taxiing is easier on weekdays when we are working. Ideally I’d like to split the time at each other’s houses but I know he feels uncomfortable with my lack of privacy and flatmates. My place is really nice though and I’m finding it difficult making more of the effort to travel to his especially when technically I live more centrally and nearer to work…can anyone help?

Well you should tell him how you feel, ie what you've written here, and ask him to come to yours more.

Or one of you could learn to drive & get a car? It really does make life a lot easier.

Not sure what else you can do. I assume you're not prepared to move in together

I'd say you'd like to spend more time at yours, and just stop going over to his all the time. Alternate.

If he won't make an effort, then it's good information for what shape he expects your relationship to take, and you should bear it in mind for the future.

Is the issue the cost of travel? You could always just ask him to split it. Unless of course he is feeding you etc when you stay at his, in which case I'd try to work out what's fair based on who is already paying for what.

I think he's selfish. He's happy for you to put yourself out in terms of travelling and expenses but won't reciprocate?
How long have you been together for? He's showing you he puts himself first.

just take a bit longer and go by public transport

Sorry but I’m 110% with him I like privacy and would be massively uncomfortable with out it
if it’s about the cost ask him to split it

How old are you both?

I dated a guy in my late 20s who lived with housemates whilst I had my own place. I absolutely hated going to his and having no privacy/being stuck in his room because the living room was being used. Wouldn’t have bothered me when I was younger but it would be a dealbreaker to me now.