Friends

[Bluemoon22]

So i have survived my first xmas since leaving my abusive ex but part of me feels like what was the point in leaving. I have a couple of friends who relentlessly told me to leave him and said they would support me. After finally plucking up the courage to leave 3 months ago neither of them have really shown me any support despite me saying how lonely and down i am. I know they have their own busy lives but after promising to help me i'm feeling really let down. Neither have offered to come over on an evening to give me some company and when i have asked its i will soon, i managed to get a babysitter on 2 separate occasions and mentioned about going out but both declined despite going on plenty of other nights out with other people. The tipping point for me has been xmas, neither of them have contacted me to wish me a happy christmas and to check i was ok despite me messaging them both xmas morning. The thought of spending new year all alone and going into 2023 completely alone except for my child just makes me feel really sad. I don't know if my feelings are justified, maybe they aren't. Maybe i'm expecting too much

Your feelings are definitely valid, ime people are quick to shout leave but don’t realise how hard and lonely it can be.

I understand how people do not always live up to our expectations for whatever reason. I did have sime friends wishing me merry Christmas and in my circumstances it was not appropriate. It made me angry
All I can say re New year's eve is yes it might be disappointing not being in party atmosphere but at least it will be calmerbthwn being with a difficult partner. Look after yourself

They can talk the talk but they can't follow through with their promises. It's quite common. People you think you can rely on often turn out to be unreliable. They just cannot be bothered to put in the effort. Sometimes, though, support comes from unexpected sources. I hope it turns out to be that way for you.

Well done for leaving!

Have you looked at the app called Peanut? It's for women only and to meet other women to become friends with - maybe you could join that to try to strike up some new friendships and hopefully this will help you feel better!

I think if your partner was abusive they didn’t really have much of a choice but tell you to leave. It is a very difficult time to do this but you must consider how much better your Christmas has been without him and that you have made great progress.

hopefully your friends will have more time to spend with you when things are back to normal. I expect they have been sidetracked with their own families as we all know how hard it can be for mums this time of year.

try not to despair. You had to leave him so it’s not been so much of a choice as a necessity. Spend 2023 rebuilding your life and getting back what this man has taken away from you.

you have done the hard part and got through Xmas and will no doubt feel loads more positive when Jan gets underway.

wishing you all the love and support you need!!

Some years are tough but there will be better ones with time! It's tough to meet friends as a solo parent but that Peanut app sounds worth a go. Try to enjoy New Year's Eve with your child, time flies by so fast and you won't spend time with them like that later. Those friends sound fairweather but there are other friend fish in the sea, they're not worth your worry. Cheers to how far you've come and all the best for 2023!