If you never met someone who wanted children with you

[waitingforspring2023]

I have a lot of complex feelings about this, and it's not something I can articulate IRL, and seems to be something that isn't talked about much.

I am in my early 30s. I don't know if I want children, u don't know if I can even HAVE children. But my feelings of sadness come from the fact that live has never worked out in a way where I could actually think or have a choice about this.

I have been married, and spent most of my 20s, with a man who said he wanted children when we were young, but it was something distant in the future. Once we bought a house, sex stopped and the selfish behaviour and verbal abuse started. He admitted he doesn't want to spend money on anything other than himself. The marriage fell apart due to his selfish attitude rather than the children issue, however.

I've only had a small number of relationships, but they've been with men who don't want children, had children already and had a vasectomy, or don't want children with me. It was never a consideration.

I feel a bit sad that no one has ever considered me as a partner to have a family with. Most men my age, and in the 30-40 bracket are settled, and if they're not there is usually baggage or commitment issues. I've found people interested in me are a lot older than me, which isn't ideal and I feel like I'm just, well, a second best, B person in life.

I know this sounds wallowing in self pity, but I do feel like I'm less of a woman as no one has wanted this with me. I would be happy being single for the rest of my days, but I do wonder what is wrong with me. Anyone else out there, in the same boat?

there is nothing wrong with you OP, plenty of women/men are in a similar situation to you.

I am 34 and never knew if I wanted kids, my early 20s were girls holidays and going out. It was only when I lost my Mum two years ago that the sadness about not having that life hit home. My past relationships have all been car crashes and I do feel glad children were never involved. However I do now feel I am running out of time to have children and sad that I have wasted so much of my life on rubbish unsuitable men.

If children are something that you want then be completely honest about that with any future partners, don’t settle!

You just haven’t met that person yet OP , mid 30s I would have said the same but I did meet someone ( the right someone) and have young teens now .

it doesn’t happen to everyone but don’t give up .