Sat in bed feeling numb and wondering if I am at the end of my 30 relationship/marriage. We have barely spoken in a week and I feel quite sick from the tension. He is sleeping on the sofa and basically walks out of a room if I walk in unless others are in there (2kids are back from uni, 1 still at home). There hasn't even been an argument as such to cause this. We have been rubbing up the wrong way for a little while - I feel he is quite patronising/mansplaining and in some cases a bit controlling, and picks on little things all the time. He sees his way as the best and that I am just being antagonistic if I want to do something differently, or over reacting if I pull him up on something he has said or done. We are talking pretty minor things - but it sucks the joy out of everyday life. He said that I am not very loving towards him and he feels like I don't like him very much. For years I was a bit of a doormat and people -pleaser (still struggle with this) but think a combination of dealing with the peri-menopause and actually standing up for myself over the last few years means that I don't just bite my tongue or be submissive any more. There have been so many years where his MH has impacted the family (not being fully involved, bouts of aggression and anger, not taking any steps to get help), where I shouldered it all, and I am resentful that I did all of this and now he is acting like a sulky child not getting enough attention, when I am actually in place where I could do with a bit of support. He would say he adores me - but it is always on his terms (likes to "show me off" so will be really weird about things like how I look if I go for a walk and we might see people! I couldn't give 2 figs how I look on a walk) and a bit love bombing at times (goes through phases where he will literally tell me 20 times a day how much he loves/adores me). I know this probably makes him sound awful - he definitely has some less finer points (don't we all) but does really love me. How do you know if/when it is the time to end a relationship - so hard after so long. Is this a blip or down to peri-menopause? Right now I can't see how I can spend the rest of my life with him but don't know if this is me being hormonal or possibly depressed myself. Sorry for the waffle - I just need to get it off my chest.