Interaction with ex has spooked me

[Perkyturkey]

I will start off by saying I have had some wine and I'm probably massively over thinking. Been divorced 2 years, no big drama we just put all our energy into our kids. Our relationship took a back seat and just slowly died really. When he came to get the kids today he asked me if I wanted to come along to his mums for their family dinner. I said I had other plans but thanked him for the invite. His reply was ' well you're family & we never stopped loving you. Everyone misses you!. It's really made Me feel odd & a little tearful. I don't think we would ever get back together but I do miss being part if his family. Does anyone else still attend get together with ex in-laws? Does it feel weird?

Only you can decide.
I didn't.

I get on very well with ex-in laws and because of some issues with my daughter we are getting even closer.

You are lucky to have such a nice relationship with your ex and his family.

Enjoy:)

That sounds a sweet thing to say and sincerely meant.

It was a kind & genuine offer. It was just a little unexpected. A few glasses of wine, twinkly Christmas lights and one to many cheesy films has lead me to read to much into it I think. Thanks all

I had a friend in my teens through a hobby and would call into her parents house each Saturday. After 3 years of doing this, she casually mentioned her mum had a new boyfriend. I was horrified and asked how her dad felt about it. It turned out they had been divorced for over 5 years but were good friends. Every time I had visited they had both been there. It turned out that it was actually her dad’s house, they both had new partners and socialised together.

Only you can decide if this is doable in your situation, but sometimes it can work.

I'm very close to my ex in laws and count them as my family

My ex husbands girlfriend isn't counted as part of the family due to the circumstances of them getting together

It's up to you whether you want to build the relationship back

I do get along with them & there was never any animosity or awkwardness during our break up. Most if my contact with them revolves around the kids. Neither of us has had a relationship with anyone else since we split. I think I'm just going to keep things as they are. If anything today has shown me I'm not really ready to be friends. I've spent the evening thinking maybe we should have tried harder to make things work. Dangerous territory. Ahhhh, snap out of it woman!

My DH gets on well with his ex and her family. But, I think you can only be friends if there are no lingering feelings or regrets.

@Beamur I agree, I do love him & I probably always will. He was my 1st serious love. Although there was no big drama the reasons for the split are still valid. It's nice that we have a good parenting relationship and we should keep it that way. I don't need him as a friend I need him to be a good team mate.

I probably get on better with the ex in-laws than my own family tbh! When we told them we were divorcing they said that I would always be family and they’ve 100% lived up to that promise. I spend time with them at family events - have been invited to big birthday/anniversary celebrations on their side and even host them at my house for our DCs bdays etc as ex’s house is quite small.

We split up over 10 years ago and I’ve had another significant DP since then whom they have also included in invitations and always asked after him/put him in the Xmas cards etc.

Since that ended they will ask if I’m dating anyone nice and show an interest in my life generally. They understood that XH and I were better off apart and they always say how grateful they are that I’ve brought up the DCs - mainly on my own - so well.

XH also thanked me this Xmas for all I do for the DCs and it did make me feel quite warmly towards him, so I can totally see how you would feel being told that your ex that he’ll always love you.

If it’s making you feel anything other than included and appreciated then maybe it is too soon, or not right for you. But it’s nice that you have that door open whenever you feel ready to step through it.

Thanks everyone, wise words.

Reading between the lines, it is clear you want to be back. You loved him, you like to be part of his family. You do say that raising your children was a priority, meaning that you neglected him, or you neglected each other. You may feel bad for neglecting one another. Surely drinking wine loosens inhibitions, which also brings to to surface (from the subconscious) your real desires.
I am not sure if I missed your age, his and those of your children, but what are they?

I would keep things open to pave the way for a second try.

I have seen it happening with a divorced couple, where the wife neglected the needs of her husband, emptionally and physically. And after so many years of separation, with some encouragement, but only after finding her real self, they got together, and are currently very happy together.