How to survive parental favouritism

[JustHowHardisChristmas]

I’m bloody struggling. I’m a child free but happily married middle aged woman. I had a fairly miserable childhood being blamed for everything that ever went wrong from an impossible to please father. My golden balls brother can do no wrong, he is truly the golden child and continues to be.

DB has children who DF dotes over, showing the love I’ve never experienced from him in bucket loads. I’m happy that he loves his grandchildren so much but his treatment of me is continuing to get worse by the year.

Examples are - I asked him to dance with me at my wedding and he refused. Ten minutes later he was dancing with my niece. Same wedding - he tells niece how beautiful she looks as bridesmaid, I get ignored. Today he’s asked everyone what he can get them to drink - ignores me. These are just examples and not isolated or unusual in our family.

Financially he’s not wealthy but comfortable and is constantly giving DB and his grandchildren financial gifts (DB is not in need) but I get very little.

Anyone have any advice about how to get through a family Christmas where you’re so very clearly 2nd best.

Go NC? I would not be putting up with that shit, no way! A Family Christmas is overrated if it just makes you feel rubbish about yourself, surely?

He’s decided that as you aren’t expanding his family he doesn’t care. My narc DP did the same thing to me and then at 39 I got pregnant, had my DS, and now keep trying to bring me back ‘into the fold’ to gain control over me over my DS. Just cut them off. And try to spend more time with people who actually care about you.

Cut him out of your life. He'll never change.
Free yourself by surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you.

Back a way op. Better get a dpet to rely on and love and respect you...

I felt like this for years, my sister being the ultimate golden child. I had to make the choice to only rely on my own self esteem and confidence and not to expect it from her. I didn't go NC, I just didn't listen to anything she said (usually in the form of subtle put downs) or absorb the negativity. I live and die by my own decisions and AFAIC, they have nothing to do with the running of my life.

In my mind, I'm now a success as I broke the cycle of low self esteem and it's had a massive impact on the rest of my life.

Funnily enough, now that I don't give a shit, she's recognising my value more.

@MadameDe has it. When you don't give a shit and back off you become more interesting. No need to be rude just a gradual ghosting.