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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tips for keeping the peace at Christmas?

15 replies

Capslocked · 26/12/2022 06:05

Anyone good at dealing with tricky family at Christmas? I need some tips from cool heads!

We've been in close quarters for nearly a week and I need to bite my tongue and not say something extremely rude to my brother in law. He's clearly had enough of everyone in his space (fair!) and getting being snarky about my parenting, which is a hot button issue for me.

How do I keep my gob shut for the next 24 hours till we can go home?

OP posts:
Daffodilis · 26/12/2022 06:07

Send them home 🙂

ZekeZeke · 26/12/2022 06:08

Your DH's side of the family? Get him to dsay something.
Next year, don't stay over.

Daffodilis · 26/12/2022 06:08

Sorry didn't read it properly, too early

BCBird · 26/12/2022 06:13

Hope it went okish and you are soon hime and chilling. A week in someone else's house and vice versa is a long time

Original poster
Capslocked · 26/12/2022 06:24

Thanks both! And BCBird for your words of solidarity! We're here until tomorrow evening so I'm nearly there. No chance am I doing it next year. I must have lost my mind. I'm usually pretty good at ducking out of long stays.

DH is incredibly irritated with him and has been doing the lions share of parenting all week as he knows I could snap at a moments notice! We've made a pact to keep the peace with brother in law for another day. Currently pretending I'm a UN diplomat on a tricky mission to placate a cantankerous dictator...

OP posts:
category12 · 26/12/2022 06:29

Go out for family walks, get a break from each other in close quarters, fresh air makes you feel better

Or make an excuse and go home early. Why stick it out if you're at your limits?

YRGAM · 26/12/2022 06:38

And don't drink at all if you can help it

Original poster
Capslocked · 26/12/2022 06:38

Yes to walks @category12 Very good reminder! We're abroad at SIL's house and our flight doesn't leave till tomorrow else I'd be hot footing it down the motorway at this moment!

OP posts:
category12 · 26/12/2022 06:43

Ah, flights. Damn. 😅

Original poster
Capslocked · 26/12/2022 06:44

@YRGAM completely agree! Good reminder! My BIL has been sloshed or hungover all week which really isn't helping. I'll definitely lay off the booze tonight!

OP posts:
BoxOfCats · 26/12/2022 06:54

Don't pander to assholes to try to keep the peace. If he wants to be a dick, that's on him.

Original poster
Capslocked · 26/12/2022 08:24

Agree in principle @BoxOfCats but I've made it 6 days and determined to keep it civilised for one more day for MIL and the kids. You are quite right though...pandering to assholes only encourages them!

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 26/12/2022 08:38

Keep repeating to yourself

"everything is temporary, this too shall pass".

ZekeZeke · 26/12/2022 09:21

Is it your DH's brother? If so, your DH needs to man up and pull his brother up on his behaviour.

Original poster
Capslocked · 26/12/2022 10:53

Amen! This too will pass! Thanks mumsnetters! Very helpful all round!

OP posts:
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