Reporting childhood abuse

[Minimalme]

I was abused by my Mother growing up. Physically and emotionally.

I have gone no contact with her which has been difficult because she behaves like a stalker. I have recently changed my name and moved house in an attempt to get away.

She is 78 and her life is still very much in tact despite the damage she has inflicted.

I was reading a case of modern slavery recently (reported in the news) and there were lots of parallels with my experience. I have one sibling who is also NC with her who also experienced/witnessed abuse.

I have been considering reporting her for historic abuse. I think mainly because she is living amongst people who have no idea who she is. She took my childhood from me. She failed to love me or give me to someone who would. I will never experience parental love because of her.

She is very wealthy and could afford the best legal representation.

Would the Police be appalled or not take me seriously? I am moving again soon (200 miles away) so logistically would it mean they would be less likely to investigate?

I am not expecting them to prosecute but I would like them to talk to her about it and maybe get her to be afraid to trying to contact me?

I dunno.

In my experience, the process of reporting is far, far more likely to damage you than to cause her even a moment of discomfort.

However, reporting her current stalking behaviour might be worth considering. I'd talk it through with the National Stalking Helpline first - to help you understand what options you have, what evidence would be needed, how to navigate the police process etc.

I am sorry for everything you've been through and are still dealing with.

Thank you. I am 49 and only been no contact for a little over a year. I think I am only just starting to see the irreversible damage she did and what she has taken from me.

I am one of four siblings-one emigrated and is just holding out for the inheritance while the eldest is carrying on the pretence for all to see. I am close to the sibling who went NC though which is a huge comfort.

I will talk to that helpline - I have done everything I can do get away from her but I know she is always there waiting for a chance to get to me.

That's a lot. I think the fallout from abuse by a parent is so complex, it makes sense what you say about only now being able to start to see the full impact.

Reading your update I am wondering if NAPAC is an organisation anyone has mentioned to you before or that you have come across? It stands for the National Association for People Abused in Childhood. They have a phoneline too and can help with signposting.

It may just be another resource to help you in making sense and perhaps healing. Complex trauma is tough but there are people and organisations who can help, support, listen.