Toxic relationships at Christmas

[Christmasoveryet]

Hi everyone, hoping for a handhold and moral support.

First Christmas since separating from DH last year. Co parenting but neither of us talking about the marriage ending or divorce. I begged for communication but got silent treatment to the point of leaving with DS4. I still have no closure on the whole thing and have to be nice and polite with Ex H every other day for DS sake. I've invited Ex round tomorrow so my son can be with us both. Obviously in spite of myself but for DS sake.

Meanwhile, I've had typical treatment from my toxic family in the last few days which always comes out at Christmas. DPs not bothering to come into my house to see me and DS until my Dsis arrived. They actually drove off from outside my house and said they'll come back when Dsis got there. Dsis making plans with DPs to invite them over to my house on Christmas day like I wasn't here nor there.

Other Dsis also planned to visit yesterday but pulled out at the last minute blaming the train strikes. She then separately invited other Dsis round today,didnt mention to me and just said sorry for not turning up today. They have form for doing stuff separately and excluding me. I don't mind for myself but my son was so disappointed yesterday.

Are these toxic relationships? I just want to block all of them.

I'm feeling tearful, unloved and so anxious.

DS has gone out for the day with DH and will be back in the afternoon. I don't know what to do with myself. Sitting here crying.

Bumping this. Can anyone offer a handhold? :(

Are you ok? It sounds tough and like you really don’t have any support. Is your family usually like this or is it something this year that’s prompted what looks like exceptionally uncaring behaviour given it’s your first Christmas alone.

So sorry you are going through this. Family or not, if they are that toxic and make you so unhappy, let them get on with it without you. Concentrate on what and who brings value to your life and your sons life. You are worth so much more than how you are being treated. We are only here for a short time, start surrounding yourself with people that love and appreciate you. You are worth more and deserve more…remember that xx

You need to call them out on their behaviour and then tell them where to go. They're not worth your salt. I hope things feel better soon.

I think you need to let some of these relationships go, they sound really hurtful to you. You will feel lonely in the short term but having space means new people who are kind and caring can come into your life, and you deserve much better treatment from the people in your life.

I've had lots of adults tell me it was hard being around their parents together when the relationship was toxic, so I think depending on circumstances it can be easier for children to deal with one parent at a time and not have to worry about mum being given the silent treatment or whatever else he is doing.

I has my first Xmas after separation last year and it was very lonely. This year was much better as I have more people in my life with similar values to me and so it has been a social and fun Xmas with my kids and friends and no drama! Things will get better for you but you might need to change the way you're doing things and the relationships you put effort into to get a different outcome that makes you much happier.