Did couples therapy help your marriage?

[OhWhatToDoooo]

Just that really.

I'm on the waiting list for therapy for my PPD and rage, but it's a long one.

I feel like it's affecting my marriage. All my energy is used up trying not to lose my shit at the kids and I end up taking it out on my husband.

I feel like he's getting to the end of his tether and I need a way of communicating with him so that he can understand what I'm going through.

I would say that couples therapy has definitely had a positive impact on how me and my partner communicate and understand each other.
It helped him to understand my mental health and how best to respond when I am struggling.
We are still in a bad place, but that is due to infidelity. The ability to communicate has definitely improved.
You have to be prepared to both open up though, be honest and take on board what the therapist says.
Make sure you find one that works for you.

Thank you @Freeflight

Any suggestions on how to find a good therapist?

BACP will be able to show you anyone registered in the area.
I'd find someone specific for relationships. They might have experience with Relate too.
Psychology Today might also have someone.
And then you need to talk to them, maybe have a free initial session as it's important that you feel comfortable to share your inner thoughts.

It rescued our relationship. BACP or Relate websites

Are you taking any meds? IDK if you have been prescribed Venlafaxine, but it doesn't suit everyone and can exacerbate outbursts of anger.

@Thelnebriati no I'm not on any medication. I've read a lot of mixed reviews about anti depressants.

Didn’t save mine, but I think we both knew going in that we were done. It did help us to have a bit more understanding and empathy for each other which had been lacking for a long time. It also made it clear to me how unhappy I was with him and that we weren’t going to work out. We ended therapy, his decision, and went on together for a few more months before it finally came to an end.

It can be really helpful. But I think you need to treat the PPD first.

Medication, therapy. Otherwise it's not likely to work.

@SquishyGloopyBum is it worth forgetting about the NHS wait list and going private then?

I had PPD with my first too with no therapy or medication and I was miserable for 18 months but it never affected my marriage.

When I mentioned my feelings to my husband he would just say 'oh you're having a low day, it's ok to feel like that'. I feel like he was in denial. When I brought it up again after my second, he didn't even try to explore or understand how I was feeling which is why I'm keen on couples therapy. I haven't even floated the idea to him yet.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you're in a better place now.

Nope. He went twice then told the therapist he didn’t need to go any more, only I did. I went twice more and didn’t find it helpful. We had a very messy divorce.

No it didn’t help mine. But I’m didmt hage PPD. Which is a medical condition so go to your GP and try the meds.

Then try counselling. It might help you both to understand what the other is going through.

Im sure its shit for you. But living with someone who is depressed and wont seek help must be shit for your husband too.

I've spoken to GP who's put me on the wait list for therapy.

Meds were spoken about but it was actually my husband who advised against taking them. He's a pharmacist so I tend to listen to him when it comes to medication.

So your doctor who is medically qualified advised them. But you disregarded that advise in favour of someone who is not medically qualified.

Why would you do that ?

He's a senior pharmacist who has qualifications to prescribe. He is medically qualified. Part of his job entails advising doctors.

That's besides the point though. After doing my own research I was iffy about medication.

Therapy is the route I want to go down.

I do understand your reluctance to take AD's, but at this point your PND is so severe its changed your behaviour and affected your marriage.

Your husband may be qualified to prescribe but he is not a GP, and so he will have no experience of monitoring a patient and watching their improvement. The GMC say its unethical to prescribe for a partner (and that includes interfering with your treatment.)
“Where possible, you must avoid prescribing for yourself or those close to you.”
www.gmc-uk.org/ethical-guidance/ethical-guidance-for-doctors/good-practice-in-prescribing-and-managing-medicines-and-devices

He isn't prescribing for me, he's simply advising. It's ultimately my choice.

@Thelnebriati

He is licensed to prescribe. He should not be involved in your treatment, its unethical.

I agree. I think the medication given for things like this should be taken with additional advice, there are new studies that have shown PPD symptoms can be caused/more extreme due to elevated copper levels and lack of b12. I’d ask for an extensive blood panel first,one that would include hormone levels too prior to taking chemical medication.