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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I take a chance?

14 replies

thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 19:52

So, I'm in my 50s, had a boyfriend when I was 15/16 but then I went off travelling so we split up. I then met my ExH who I was with for 22 years and we had two wonderful children, now adult. We have always been amicable and we speak on a regular basis. We have many mutual friends so often socialise together still. I'm going to his house tomorrow so that we can spend Christmas Eve with our kids - 23 and 18.
Anyway, my boyfriend from when I was 15/16 has been in touch since FB came about.
He's a lovely fella and we only split up because I went abroad travelling for a few years (back and forth) when I was 17 to 22.
It was a bizarre situation, how we reconnected. He was site manager for [redacted by MNHQ] house renovations last year. He got chatting to my best friend, [redacted by MNHQ], and realised they both knew me. She called to ask if it was ok to give him my number after he'd asked for it. I said yes and we've been messaging since.
We've both been married and divorced. My children are adults and don't live with me anymore. His child lives in Thailand and he spends a few months there, with her, each year. They FaceTime everyday and he financially supports her and her mother. He's there at the moment and sends me photos every day.
So, do I meet him when he gets back?
He messaged to ask if I was single before he started messaging me daily as he wouldn't have if I was in a relationship.
He says we should have stayed together and got married!
He lives not far from my parents. I told my mum and she remembers him fondly.
Just feels a bit weird after 30 odd years. What do you think I should do? Do I meet up with him?

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 23/12/2022 19:57

You might want to have mnhq edit your post to remove the celebrity's name, as this will be instantly outing.

Anyway - yes definitely meet him! But I'd try to set aside your memories of him as a teenager - you've both changed massively so it will be like getting to know a stranger. Don't fall into a trap of feeling like you already know him.

Hope it goes well!

Summer2424 · 23/12/2022 19:58

@thailandorbust
Yeeees meet him! :)

thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:21

Thanks @EvenMoreFuriousVexation how do I do that? New here!

OP posts:
thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:25

Thanks both. Yes I think I will meet him, nothing ventured, nothing gained I guess. I know he's 'safe' as we have a mutual friend and I can see his FB. Just will be bonkers meeting up after so so long, like 35 years!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 23/12/2022 20:25

Report your own post and ask them to just change it to a celebrity as it is very outing. But yes go for it! I’m 45 and dating again. Felt for years I was happy single but really enjoying it

amiold · 23/12/2022 20:29

Why would you not? Sounds like it will be lovely to catch up even if it goes nowhere. Good luck x

Nearlychristmas123 · 23/12/2022 20:29

Yes you have nothing to lose as long as your expectations aren’t too high. You could have a lovely friendship / relationship or you could realise that 30 years on there is nothing between you.
good luck!

Dillydollydingdong · 23/12/2022 20:30

Why shouldn't you meet up? Lots of people reconnect on Facebook, including me. I've been with my FB friend nearly 3 years now.

thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:30

Thanks all. I'm on the phone app - how do I report?

OP posts:
thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:40

@Dillydollydingdong that's lovely. I wish you the very best x

OP posts:
thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:44

@MNHQ please can you remove the identifying words from my post post please ie Boy George thank you

OP posts:
thailandorbust · 23/12/2022 20:54

@Zanatdy wishing you the very best as you navigate OLD

OP posts:
thailandorbust · 24/12/2022 11:09

He messaged this morning. We are meeting up on the 3rd

OP posts:
ManAboutTown · 24/12/2022 11:38

I would do it - from your post he still sounds like a decent guy

Don't know if you've seen a photo but be prepared for him to be older, balder and fatter than when you last saw him (of course you may be also some of those)😁

Go for it and I hope it works out for you (take the celeb's name off the post as others have advised though)

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