7 months pregnant, two days before Christmas and dumped

[Anonymous44]

Hi

i need some help please. Everything seems so dark, I feel like such a failure and I have failed my baby before she has arrived. I am 32 weeks pregnant and had a growth scan today, I have been so worried and was told today the baby is small and I need to go for another scan in three weeks. Then after the scan my boyfriend told me he isn’t happy with the relationship and dumped me. It’s two days before Christmas I am worried about the baby and now have to face this all alone as a single mum. He walked out and left me crying on the sofa. I don’t know what to do. I can’t face this. I’m so sad but don’t want the stress I upset the baby. I’m lost. I want to run away and hide. Please help.

@Hedgehog93 it will get easier. When your baby is here you may well find your priorities are completely different, your new baby’s needs, and your own, will mean that you will not have the brain space to continue thinking about your ex as you might be at the moment. You will move forwards emotionally. I do feel for you. Be good to yourself, and kind to yourself, don’t mull over him or the relationship as that will prevent your progress. Although I know it’s so much easier to say than to do! Remember that we can have control over our thoughts, the things and people we give our thinking time too, and it’s our thoughts which determine our feelings and subsequently our emotional state. Think now about the future and what you can do. @Hedgehog93 and @Anonymous44 surround yourselves with kind and helpful family and friends 💕

Hope you managed to have an OK day yesterday @Anonymous44

Thanks for all your messages i feel completely devastated. I have tried to contact him and his family but they have all ignored me it’s like they have cut me and the baby out of their lives completely. I know i need to stay strong for my baby but I’m so sad. I’m so confused. He got me a necklace 4 days before the dumped me. I’m so confused and can’t sleep. Can anyone advise me on what steps to take next? Thank you.

@Anonymous44 I completely sympathise and understand as I’m 4 months down the line in a similar position - 38 weeks pregnant.

I was with my partner about 18 months, not an unplanned pregnancy. Over a minor nothing argument over the phone when I was off work unwell he then kicked me out of the apartment we shared bin bagging all my stuff up with his elderly mum and sister within an hour!!! My life had imploded. I too the next day desperately tried to call as I was in a bad place and unwell - refused to help or talk to me I could barely eat or keep food down or function I was then signed off work.

I then didn’t contact and he waited 4 weeks to check I was ok - I then realising I didn’t need the stress or tolerate that behaviour blocked him so I could concentrate on me and the baby and my mental well being and told him I was disgusted and wouldn’t engage with him again. I am proud I did this. He hasn’t bothered to try and contact me since which is shocking to me regardless as you think he would care about his unborn child. ALSO like you 4 days prior we did our gender reveal with each respective families after paying for a gender reveal scan privately!! He was completely onboard. My breakup and lack of closure is absolutely batt shit crazy but I’ve never reached out to him and blocked him so I couldn’t endure anymore mental torture from him or upset.

He has ruined my pregnancy however I am starting to feel better and am excited about my baby. Don’t get me wrong I am still in shock but I wouldn’t want him near my baby now but the lack of compassion and humanity is still baffling. In short they are pieces of shit and any man who would happily cause this level of stress to the person carrying there child is a disgusting cunt.

Im living with my parents and brother who are hugely supportive. I have made sure to eat and drink well and make midwives fully aware of the situation. I would advise not contacting him anymore as this will make you feel worse. Speak to your midwife. Look after yourself and take it easy. I’m not going to bother saying don’t think about him like many have said to me it’s pretty bloody impossible. Watch uplifting stuff on tv and just concentrate on you and the BABY! The baby is the most important thing. Message me directly if you want to talk. But do make your midwife aware and lean on people! Do you really want someone who can cause this level of stress to you and your baby? That’s what I’ve had to remind myself constantly. Selfish and disgusting. Thinking of you but you will be OK xx

Oh sweetheart
you Keep going

you will love this child far More than him
you will

you eat right
you go for walks
you practice self care
you do pregnancy yoga
you tell the midwife

one day at a time
I know how vulnerable you must feel Right how x

All this.
Completely ignore him and his shitty family, id be furious if my DS behaved like this