Single at Xmas….. does it feel worse than other times?

[Grenola]

im feeling quiet overwhelmed this Xmas…. Could be cuz it’s the first single superstition and sharing the kids so lots of time alone.

but I feel this sense of doom…, it’s weird! I’m generally happy I think but; I’m worrying about when and how I will ever meet someone else… how will I have adventures and go on holidays ect!

is it just me iver thinking?

Get with a supreme leader like me

You can go on adventures & holidays on your own. (Or go with friends, family or groups.)

One of the things I've enjoyed has been planning trips with the kids and saving up for them myself.

I went abroad for the first time just me and kids, and it was quite scary thinking about it, but we had a brilliant time. You can do anything you want to, you don't need to be partnered up for it.

And when you're ready to date, it means what they bring to your life is a bonus, if you're comfortable on your own.

That’s true…. Maybe I will research some family holidays I can go with the boys. It’s tricky cuz I need a disability friendly one for my youngest.

I’m tempted to plan a holiday by myself…..

@putinsmistress what does that mean?

@putinsmistress what does that mean?

She's Putin's mistress. She's recommending you hook up with a world leader like she did.

When I was single I went on exploring holidays by myself. Think budget tours, semi-guided but with free evenings and whilst I didn't meet a new partner that way, I did have fabulous experiences and made lasting friends.
I also used the MeetUp app a lot to go out. Again, didn't meet a partner that way but I did make new friends which in turn opened up my social circle.
As regards meeting DP, I persevered with OLD and am now with a lovely man.
However, I do totally empathise with you. This is a hard time of you to be single, as is new years and any bank holiday.
Hang on in there, OP, you will be fine.

Book family trips / holidays. There are some great holidays aimed at single people, perhaps look into those. Look at the meet up app and find some social meets in the new year.

@KnickerlessParsons habha I read that as ‘put in mistress’

dyslexia at its bed there!!

There isn't much you can do with a partner that you can't do alone. There is something really empowering about planning and doing things for yourself, with no need to consider anyone else's preferences or timings, and also giving your DC experiences that you alone have worked for.

Don't wait to have a partner before you start living the life you want, and when they do come along you will be the best position to make sure they truly add something worthwhile to it.

Ah thanks for the suggestions.

I like the idea of those exploring holidays…. And will try the meet up app. Haven’t heard of that… will check it out.

I have lots of great friends but they all have families and am stuck for people available to go out with. So I think it is a more friendship circle I’m missing. I wouldn’t know where to start.

@rizzo999 yeah I totally am on board with adventures with the kids. I do take them camping/festivals ect… I guess it’s that adult time I’m missing. But nothing a mate can’t help with.
mum going to make sure I plan visiting my friends in the new year.

I absolutely love being single. Its taken me a while to get to this point but now I genuinely enjoy it. Do what you want, when you want. Even at Xmas. Have the extra glass of wine if you fancy, take the kids on an impromptu ice skating trip. No overgrown man child to contend with. Plus, it costs less as no presents for a partner to buy.

You can definitely go on holidays on your own, or just take your kids with you.

In response to your title, yes being single at Christmas can feel worse because all you seem to see is people all loved up, spending the festive season together. There is also more pressure because everyone wants to know who you are spending Christmas with and what you've got planned. The good news is, all of this will be over in about a week!

Being single is great, it gives you a chance to just be selfish for a while. Maybe you'll meet someone, maybe you won't. But don't let that stop you from going on adventures.

Yeah it is the pressure of people asking what I’m doing n, and how I’m feeling

Depending who it's from, try to take it as them either intending to be kind or just making small talk. Eg most colleagues at work asking what you're doing for Christmas don't actually GAF, it's just social chit-chat. If it's friends/family, they want to know you're doing OK.

It is a weird one, if the kids are going to their dad's some of the time and you're on your own, but you can use the time either seeing family or hunkered up with a book or whatever and just doing what you want, even if that's eating an entire yule log for breakfast (not recommended 😂).

If you want to feel better about being single at Christmas, take a look at some of the threads today. Honestly, it is awful what some people put up with in relationships!

Complete opposite for me, first Christmas just me and my children, free of abuse and with all of the money I earn (albeit not much) I could spend on them. I completely get that circumstances are different for everyone though, I hope you still manage to have a lovely Christmas

I spent years in a marriage where I wasn't happy. And I regret wasting so many years in it.

I'm single now (and on my own today), and I'm not sure I ever want to be with someone again. I'm a lot poorer - but I'm heaps happier now.

Do you get time alone? There's lots to do if so. I've been single on and off since 2017 and it's been fantastic. I was a bit wobbly to start with, but once I had a few flings and general adventures under my belt, I started feeling like I never wanted another boyfriend or husband again.

I'm not single as such, but I live apart from my partner and I'm 9 months pregnant and feeling lonelier than ever this year. In the 7 years we've been together I have never seen him on Christmas, birthdays etc. as he doesn't cope with them well. So I assumed this year would be the same old, but nope I feel so depressed and lonely..

I hear all of u!!! There is SO much i embrace about burnt single and free of an awful marriage. I feel free everyday. The sadness is just there inside be sue I haven’t processed the grief yet. But I have been letting myself have all the feels this week.

injust had an amazing 24 hours with the. It’s and did everything how I wanted to do it!!! I’ve cried waving them off to their dads. But I would never want them to be sat with me missing thier dad. So it’s a split day for us.

im now drinking Prosecco out the bottle doing my nails.

it’s just another day now the morning of gifts and lunch is done :-)

and yeah I read all of these threads, that were once my own and breath out very slowely x

love to everyone xx

What I find difficult is the run up to Christmas but this year I changed jobs and organised our Christmas party so had that to keep me busy and my job (and boss) have helped keep my mind off being on my own and got my spirit back a bit. Christmas day is spent at my parents for lunch then home to crap TV with wine and cheese(currently watching Masterchef The Professionals). Tree will come down tomorrow, the gym reopens on Tuesday then normal life resumes.

It really is the run up to it that has done me in this year!
I’ve spent today alone after 2.30pm and been ok with it.

I might even keep the tree up till New Year’s Eve this year. Usually want to whip it down!!!

I'm glad you had a great time with the kids doing it the way you wanted 😊And great that the rest of the day has been OK.

It's definitely better doing it on your own than some people have it with partners.