After four years of dealing with the trauma of a massive betrayal (not an affair), I have called time on my marriage. He has moved out, the house is for sale. I struggled for months to reach this point, tried to find a way to work round it, taken professional advice, had tons of counselling, trial periods, you name it. Eventually I realised I would never trust him or forgive him. It was the right thing to do, for me, my principles and my relationship with my children. He is not their dad and they hate him for what he has done. Since he moved out we have had limited contact, things are amicable, we get along but we both know the damage he caused. I’ve been told amicable is preferable but the fact we still get along is actually quite poignant and hurts in a nostalgic way. Most of the time I am fine, learning to be on my own, keeping busy, etc. Then out of the blue I am floored by huge waves of regret, fear, confusion and deep sadness. I question my choice and feel I may be making a huge mistake. I’m early fifties, an empty nester with a good career and home. I’m about to start all over again. My husband loves me, I don’t love him the same way but I’m fond of him despite everything. Is the way I’m feeling a normal process following separation or is it my subconscious telling me to rethink it? I’ve been turning it over for four years, I kind of hoped it would stop now we’ve split.