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Original poster

I am so weirded out (and angry) ...

15 replies

Disenchanted · 02/02/2008 23:43

Had a daft few weeks a few years back when I questioned my relationship with DP (now DH) and as a result kissed another bloke. A minger. Several times

When me and DH sorted it out I broke all contact with this person and told them in no uncertain terms NEVER to contact me again.

He did several times to 'see how I was'. I always ignored, or replied 'go away'

Now about 4 YEARS since last contact hes found me on face book and tried to 'add me as a friend'

Whats even weirder is it says 'xxx found you through 'find a friend' which means he hasnt just stumbled upon me but actively looked for me and mustve done so quite hard as I used my married name on there now and even my best mate could not find my profile last week.

I have 'ignored' him and now feel quite sick

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted · 03/02/2008 00:01

But according to facebook he lives abroad now which makes me relieved as I was always worrying about bumping into him.

OP posts:
RGPargy · 03/02/2008 00:04

Thank goodness he lives abroad!! Ignore him. He's a freakazoid.

sushistar · 03/02/2008 00:06

Hey, a similarish thing happened to me. I had a boyf just before I started goung out with dh - 5 1/2 yrs ago. We were together 3 months - hardly long term. He basically hassled me for like 3 months after we broke up - even after I got with dh - and even kept calling my mum! Then just before xmas I get this looooong email from him - goodness knows how he even found my married-name email address?!?!?!?!? Saying 'you said maybe we could be friends one day and I'm all alone this new years eve so I'm gonna call you and i want to talk about what happened between us' etc etc. Nutcase. It's horrible, but your dh will protect you! Does he know about the kisses?

MAMAZON · 03/02/2008 00:06

he is a bit of a saddo if he is still chasing after a woman he kissed a few years back.

ignore him and think nothing of it.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 03/02/2008 00:09

Yes he does, but its a sore subject and I wont be mentioning it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted · 03/02/2008 00:09

Saddo, yes.

OP posts:
littlemrsmiss · 03/02/2008 00:15

i split up with my ex 12 years ago and he still calls round to see my parents once a year. I could not have been more clear that I wanted him to piss off get out of my life for good! I made it perfectly clear several times.

I am also married with 2 kids! Some saddos just don't get the message.

This bloke seems even more sad as you did not even have a relationship with him! Be careful you don't find a bunny boiling in your kitchen!

FenellaFudge · 03/02/2008 00:21

I may be wrong but doesn't the 'find a friend' facility work on them having your email address? as in, you copy over yur email address book and it throws up the correlating facebook profile.
Dont know if that makes it more or less freay, but I really could be talking utter beucolics.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 03/02/2008 00:23

Well he does have my email as ive had the same adress for about 7 years.

OP posts:
FenellaFudge · 03/02/2008 00:27

Probably that then, at least that would mean he hasnt gone to stalkerish lengths to find you or anything.
You can tweak your settings to make yourself invisible to certain people, I believe. So as far as he's concerned your profile would just vanish.

Original poster
Disenchanted · 03/02/2008 00:29

apart from him going through his hotmail account and finding my email after 4 years then using it to find me on FB.

I hate him

OP posts:
ladette · 03/02/2008 00:30

maybe he's just genuinely interested in what you're up to (obviously, don't know the ins and outs of your relationship so maybe you have other reasons to be spooked by this?)
I am happily married, definitely not a saddo, but "grew up" in the days before the internet. So now, am intrigued and I do look up exes, out of interest. I don't think I'm weird or scarey! But suspect there's more to it than that???

madamez · 03/02/2008 00:35

I have looked up an X or two on Facebook and, in one case, went out for lovely drink with X and his fiancee, me going with a longterm friend of mine who had also known X when we were all students together. It was fab to see him doing well and being happy. But if he (or anyone else I looked up on facebook) had either not replied or told me to get stuffed I would have left them alone.

This bloke does sound a tiny bit dodgy, given that your last contact with him was you telling him never to contact you again. I suggest refusing the friend offer and ignoring him. If he persists, keep a note of all incidents and threaten him with legal action.

nappyaddict · 03/02/2008 01:25

if he used find a friend it automatically finds everyone on your messenger list so if he has your email address he wouldbe able to find you quite easily.

warthog · 03/02/2008 10:50

i think you can block him on facebook so that he can't even see your profile headline.

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