Hey everyone! looking for some advice, i have 3 children, toddler and twins who are nearly one!
My MIL is extremely toxic, i for one can't stand her, like i used to love her but now i really don't like her, main reason being how toxic she is, how two faced and sly she is and how much she drags my partner down and wow she's just a not very nice woman! I'm going to try and keep recent issues on the advice i need to bullet points just so it's not majorly long.
- She doesn't like my partners dad and his new wife, she also fell out with her sister who is our main babysitter for the kids so she decided to unfollow me and my partner on facebook and completely ignored us because she didn't want to see posts regarding them.
- She slept with MY mums brother when she got drunk at MY birthday party, this was after my partner told her to stop and practically begged her not too.
- She will start arguments with my partner all the time when he's done nothing wrong, but she's so toxic and manipulative, she tries to make him feel really bad.
- Shes extremely jealous if anyone else sees the kids, including my mum who she deleted off facebook for no reason at all, jealousy is the only reason, she went crazy at my partner because his auntie babysat the kids, but she never bothers with them, never asks how they are, never buys them anything, never visits or asks us to visit, she babysat them once and she couldn't cope, upon picking them up i find out she went through a whole carton of formula in one night, she said they wouldn't drink anything and didn't sleep all night, they were sleeping 12 hour nights at home.
- I went mad one night because she kept saying digs about my partners auntie who is amazing to us and also my partners dad, a comment was made that they only see my kids to make my MIL jealous so i lost it! That same night she was messaging my partner saying she was going to 'not be on this earth much longer' and that he should NOT go to her funeral when it happens.
- Something big happened recently where me and my partner and kids had to move out of ours while work was done and we lived at my mums for around a month, my MIL didn't see the kids or ask how they were once in that time, she also didn't even wish my daughter a happy birthday till 6pm on her birthday, no post no nothing. When we was moving back home we was struggling for money, we needed so many things, the work done was for mould and damp treatment so we needed to buy so much stuff, right before christmas, my mum ended up messaging my MIL going a little mad saying she doesn't help or do anything, there's no support from her etc.. now i was annoyed my mum did this because she puts me in an awkward situation, my partner too, she apologised but gave me valid reasons and said she'd just had enough, she's supposed to be a grandma but she doesn't care one bit.
I don't know what i'm after, my partner knows exactly how i feel about his mum, because i've told him she's not great with the kids because that's his defence to her, that she might be horrible to him at times but she's a good grandma, i completely disagree, she's not a good grandma, she hardly sees them, never goes out her way for them, never gets them anything, nothing, when she does see them she comes over for an hour and leaves! My partner is just so defensive over her, i'm writing this because my MIL rang him tonight, she was on loud speaker and she asked "am i on loud speaker" and my partner was like yeah and she was like oh never mind, anyway he went into a different room, presumably talking about my mum which i find disrespectful af. She might of been in the wrong this time but she has built up reasoning to it! She's sick of the jealousy and my mums one of those people who will tell people straight on how they act. I don't blame her. I tell my partner all the time she's toxic and horrible but he doesn't ever say anything! Just defends her actions, oh she's going through the menopause, oh she's been through a lot! Ok that's no excuse to act that way, jealous, controlling and toxic, also who tells their own child their going to commit suicide?! She's like a toxic girlfriend.
There was even one time my partner bought me some new shoes and she said "oh you never buy me anything anymore"
i feel she's just jealous of every aspect. It's irritating, i don't know what i'm after, advice i don't know, or maybe i just needed to rant😂 It's getting harder and harder to be fake nice to her face but i do it for my partner because i love him, probably the reason i don't like her so much is because of the way she treats him.