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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need advice?

3 replies

Ideas22 · 22/12/2022 14:19

First time poster so not sure if this is the right place.
i have been with my partner for 7 years 4 years he bought a house and i moved in soon after we had a baby since then i have mentioned getting married but he says he told me a few weeks after we started dating that he doesn’t want to get married because he doesn’t like the permanence of it and doesn’t believe in marriage as they never end well. We have argued over it over the last few years and i found out that he told his family that i only want to get married so i can have claim on his house. Before the baby came along i paid half for the bills and food but when baby came i left my job and he started to pay for everything. Recently I started working again a minimum wage job and i pay for nursery and i have been saving whatever is left however now he hates that am saving to buy my own place and is now saying we should have a joint account that our salaries goes into and we should combine our finances. Before he told me he never wants to do that as he likes his independence. the issue is I would really like to be married but he is adamant thats never going to happen so I thought fine am going back to work so i can save up and have money for a deposit for myself since he has made me feel so unwelcome in his house. I tried to leave him as i was so unhappy but he threatened to take me to court if i took our child to temporary accommodation as he believes those places are unsafe for kids i fear i can not leave him because he will take the baby away from me. Him and his family have money and i have nothing and he has said many times that he would use whatever is available to him to try and keep the baby if we broke up. I don’t know what to do as i also don’t have family support. I am from abroad and have no one to help.

OP posts:
creamwitheverything · 22/12/2022 17:15

ring womans aid for advice,He is talking bull to frighten you,

creamwitheverything · 22/12/2022 17:17

It is very rare he will get full custody of the baby and he will have to pay you maintenance for the child too. He is trying to frighten you thats all.Dont worry just get some free advice from the people who know and can help you ..Womans Aid is free and always open,give them a ring it will make you feel better

JeezLouiseErrrr · 22/12/2022 22:13

Court wouldn't take away your child because you're in temporary emergency accommodation. Your partner is controlling and scaring you with lies.

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