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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Post triggered my anxiety

2 replies

Figandjam · 22/12/2022 13:36

Hi everyone. NC for this. Some of you will probably remember my post. Just to to give a summary of my last post. I am 26 and have been married for almost 2 years now and I have two kids with my husband. My husband and kids are my entire world. Cant imagine my life any other way. I have been with my husband since I was 14/ 15. When I was 19, I had a fling ( cheated ). Something I regret so heavily till this day. When I look back at my life, I can't even relate to that part of me, I ask my self what on earth was I thinking and at times I get so sick from being anxious and overwhelmed with the thoughts. Everyone looks at me and sees this good mom and wife, yet a part of me feels so dirty with what I harbour. I have been faithful ever since and would never even consider doing something like that ever again.

Two days ago, a post on Instagram triggered all of the emotions I have been feeling x10! A man in his 90s divorced his wife due to an affair she had 40+ years ago. Something he recently found out. The first thing I thought was, maybe this is going to be me in the long run and it brought up for much fear and anxiety in me. I feel like my kids think the world of me even though they are still very young. They adore their father and I know this would break us. Our marriage, the life and family we have built. I don't know what I'm expecting from this post, but I just thought I could share cause I can't really share with anyone in RL 😥

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 22/12/2022 13:40

I had a similar experience. Keep your mouth shut. Resist the urge to "come clean" and make yourself feel better. The guilt is the price you pay for having fucked up. Why spread it around and make other people miserable?

Anothernamechange1010 · 22/12/2022 13:55

There's very little chance of you getting caught out now given how many years ago this happened - unless: it comes out of your own mouth.

I would strongly suggest you resist the urge to purge your guilt.

You were a child when you met your now-husband, and very young when you cheated. Forgive yourself and try to put it where it belongs, in the past.

I doubt very much anything nice will come your way if you tell your DH. Just be thankful for everything you have now and focus on the future with your DH and children - a future that will look very very different if you come clean.

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