Has anyone EVER heard of someone with a terrible sex life that has turned it completely around with therapy?

[Chuntypops]

I haven’t.

I don’t mean one partner recovering from a significant injury or trauma, I mean where things have gone off the boil, or the ick has set in. That’s fatal isn’t it?

Yes I believe it's fatal. Never known anyone to get it back.

I think for instance a bloke can fix premature ejaculation if they put their mind to learning tantric sex or other techniques.

Maybe something mechanical, so to speak, can be fixed.

I don’t think a connection can be built though, it’s either there or it isn’t.

my sister went for sexual counselling with her ex. They both wanted it to work and yet both avoided it. The counsellor used a technique called “sensate focus” in the hope that they could reconnect physically. But it entirely missed the point that there was something lacking in their rhythm somehow. She said he was clunky and heavy handed and just followed a formula. He said she should be happy with how he did it because he wasn’t doing anything weird.

They broke up. Chemistry is either there or it isn’t.

Chemistry is either there or it isn’t.

True. It’s not connected to love necessarily but once it’s gone it’s over.

Following, as I've been wondering this myself lately!

I'm starting to lean into the "if it's gone, it's gone" camp

Yes and once it’s gone, it’s like it was never there.

I think you can, an acquaintance on my mine is a sex therapist and I know a couple of people personally who (as couples) have had a lot of success with what she does.
before anyone asks I actually haven’t asked her what she does to help people and actually she is very attractive, so I can’t see how that helps either especially when the wife is significantly less attractive than her….

DH and I didn't have sex for 9 months at one point, and either side of that it was every month to two months, for about a period of 2 years. We both seperately went through periods of mental illness during that period and had 2 close bereavements, so we just weren't in the right place. Once circumstances changed, our sex life returned - at first it felt weird and a bit stilted like we were struggling to see each other in that way again, but now it's like it never happened. I don't know if it's common, but it's possible!