how would you feel about this? A friendship issue

[Sausagenbacon]

I have a close friend (I thought) who I used to meet about every month. Last time I saw her was August, so I called at the beginning of October to suggest we meet. She asked me to call her in November, as she was really busy (no idea why, as she's retired). So called in November, to be told the same thing, and that she was just out to her book group (so just me she's going nc with).
She's just sent a message, saying I can call if I like.
I suppose that this is really an AIBU (but I don't want to get roasted) but am I petty in thinking 'You ring me, then'.

Whilst I'm not sure it's fair to assume that retired people aren't busy, it does sound as if she's been making you quite a low priority. People do juggle things around though, and there may not be anything particularly personal in her not arranging to see you. I think in this situation I'd call her, see how things feel and then possibly leave it in her court after that.

I can't find the right word, but sending a message saying you can call if you like is very unflattering, the opposite of tempting. I'd leave it. She's busy (my oh is retired and very busy) and you're not on the list of priorities. That's OK, though it can be hurtful to learn we don't feature on someone's priorities, it is OK for them to decide for themselves. She's offering you a slot further down than you thought the friendship ranked, so you can also decide for yourself if that's OK or not.

Ball is definitely in her court now - and I would keep it there. Not petty.

Petty would be if she rang you now and you told her to ring you in a month because you're too busy now (even though you aren't).

Yes I would let her make the next move.

She may have had a health scare or another issue that’s now resolved - or she may be fading you out.

I would either wait for her to call - or send something vague back like - “I am in most evenings from 7 - call whenever it suits you”

Just read you post properly and seen she's just texted you that 'you can call if you like' - that's pretty rude.

Not sure how I would reply to that but I wouldn't be calling her!

This.

Unless she has lost the use of her arms, she can call you.

Don't chase people.

People stay in touch when they want to.

I would send a nice cheerful message back but would hesitate to call. If she’s been a good friend for a while and just gone off recently, I would give her the benefit of the doubt

This would really annoy me. I would just reply……Ditto

She’s fading you out. Post Covid there seems to be a fair amount of this about.
I’ve a similar situation, friend posted a Christmas card through my letter box, I was obviously in, but didn’t ring the bell.
I texted thanks, why didn’t you come in for a coffee- no reply.

Thank you all, I've found your responses very useful. Happy Christmas!