Relationship with a lawyer - not sure how to handle

[AbsolutelyDrambulous]

Have been seeing someone for almost a year and a half now (we don't live together), he is genuinely the kindest person I have ever me. However, the issue I have is his line of work.
He is an extremely busy lawyer, having said that - I do hear from him every single day, and we make time to call each other most days. The issue is when the sh*t hits the fan at work and something happens that makes him infuriated with work, he just goes off the grid and says he is not good company to be around and that he still loves and misses me but he is very angry with work right now.
This has happened a handful of times and it's been really hard to deal with. Most recently, I told him I would just leave him alone completely and he can contact me and I'm there for him. I won't speak to him all day and then he'll just send a message saying good night.
He is so lovely and kind and I respect that he wants to be alone to feel angry and knows he isn't good company, but it is so hard. I previously had an incredibly abusive relationship and my ex husband used to stonewall me for days and days, weeks and weeks on end and it feels like I am being shut out. I feel like this again in someway, like it's a communication breakdown, I appreciate the way he deals with it isn't abusive, he's just letting me know his mood and he will always reply if I cave and message him, he never ignores me.
I guess what I am asking is, how do I raise this with him and how it is making me feel without wanting to sound selfish? - I appreciate and respect his feelings and believe them to be valid as I certainly couldn't be a lawyer, but it makes me feel pretty crap, I guess partly because we don't see each other every day and don't live together.

This is a 'you' problem - he has been completely transparent

You can either cope with it or you can't.

The thing is though, that his main priority is his work, not you. That's fine for him: he's happy to give you of his best when things are calm at work, but when the shit hits the fan, his work comes first. That doesn't make him a bad person, but it may make you consider whether he is the right person for you. Being honest about how he is, is to his credit, but doesn't alter the fundamental issue.

He does have some say in the matter as he is choosing to stay in this area of law which is more adrenaline fuelled, higher reward and higher status. There are many other areas of the law not like this, like being an in-house lawyer or a partner in a local solicitor's firm.

It is unlikely to change and you cannot ask him to but you may want to reflect on whether you want this kind of hot and cold scenario going forward. It is fine for some people but I suspect not for you.

Lawyer here and like PP have said the stress is on another scale at times. It's also one of those professions where you could potentially lose your practising certificate if you're neglient i.e career over, so not just a case of losing your job and going to another firm. As lawyers we're also expected to bring work in these days too, so there's that extra layer of stress. Chargeable hours and billing targets constantly being increased. Like PP said, you end up working in 6 minute units and I find that even if I'm relaxing and watching TV, I'll think "that's 5 units" which is ridiculous. Hopefully he'll find a way to manage his stress levels but you have my sympathies, I understand where he's coming from!

This sounds like something you have to deal with because of your past. There's nothing a talk will do because you can't simply tell him not to be by himself when stressed/angry if that's how he processes and gets through it.

This is how he handles stress/anger and there's nothing unhealthy about that. How you handle how he handles stress/anger is what is somewhat unhealthy because it triggers something in you. This is what needs to be sorted. It could be that you need to realise that he's not your ex, he replies when you try to communicate, he communicates openly with you so he doesn't just go off and leave you wondering why.

It's either that or he's not the sort of person you'd be completely happy with due to your own emotional need and there's nothing wrong with that too.