“Friend”

[Patris]

Hello, everyone .
I am new to the forum, but I would like to hear your opinion on a painful topic for me.I have a very good girlfriend of 10 years, we have been together since our teenage years. We are from a small town and when we went to study at university she lived with another friend of hers. Then they had a fight and my friend was left alone, she asked me to go live with her.
I agreed as I lived with two other girls and I wasn't going to leave her alone.
we lived together for 4 years until she decided that she wanted to move with her boyfriend to another apartment and live together.
but then again she wasn't sure if their relationship would work and since I was single and going through a rough patch I decided to go with her and rent a big house.a few months later she broke up with her boyfriend and we both stayed in the big apartment.Because it was quite expensive, she helped me, I didn't expect that they would separate and we would stay the two of us.
only once after that did she tell me that she was glad I went with her, otherwise she would have been alone.
we are friends and for me to be supportive is normal.
we lived after that for two years, both single, back and forth, student life.
until two years ago I met my current boyfriend and decided it was time to move in with him.
I gave her 6 months notice so she could find an apartment or renter and then she kindly supported me.but when the months passed she started saying that she has no money, that it's hard for her and how everyone lives their lives, and she lost a lot of friends because she has a difficult character.
I wanted to help her and even when she had problems with a boy, it came to court where I was a witness because of her.
to support her.now the new year is coming, and she insists that she wants to spend the new year in her apartment, and I have gathered close people and invited her too.and she's acting weird.
perhaps selfishly.she tells me that it was too far for her alone for a woman to come to us, how can I go, she blames me as I have always been good to her and since we are friends she should be understanding.
I want to support her since she doesn't have a family, to be her friend, but she blames me for not complying with her.
and I want to live my life.
how would you do? Do you have a toxic friends like mine? Am i cruel?

It sounds like you have always supported her/been there and now she is struggling that you are moving on. Of course you should move in with your boyfriend/have other Friends. It's not healthy to rely on another person to the extent u are describing. I think you near to be clear in ur boundaries and continue with your plans but also be supportive within your terms. Don't feel guilty for having your own life.

The new year bit might be true logistically but she could be more amenable and arrange something like staying over at yours or another friend or something or arranging to go home with other people... if she really wanted to she could have worked around it.

It sounds like she is resenting that you are now the one with the boyfriend and moving on and she is feeling vulnerable and worried about her life.

You haven't done anything wrong and it was good you gave her a 6 months notice. She has to grow up and face up to her choices re no money, housing, and lack of social support system/friends.

It sounds like she is still young though so I know as an older woman with hindsight that she does have the time to find someone and earn more money and all... but she needs to see this for herself. If she needs psychological help or anti depressants she should get that help for herself... I think if it were me, I would listen to her when she is upset and remind her of all her good qualities and abilities but I would still go ahead with moving on in my life. You've been there for her loads, she needs to face reality.