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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Christmaslover2022 · 20/12/2022 21:17

So husband and I have just kind of had an argument. He got another work issue to deal with at 8pm despite working since 8am this morning. Didn't help me clean up the dinner or get the kids to bed because of said issue. I must admit that I have zero patience left for it because the slack falls to me.

Anyway I came upstairs and the bedroom door was open, I enquired as to why because this aft I had laid out the kids gifts ready to wrap together tonight. He said he forgot to shut it, despite me asking and showing him earlier. My 6 Yr old has been in and seen her santa gifts. The kids couldn't open the door themselves as its very stiff. The other day my daughter had walked into our room as husband had opened the ottoman bed where all the presents were stashed and left the door wide open. I had a word at this point and asked him to be more careful! So tonight I said he's too careless and it's like he's not bothered if 6 year old finds out about santa. Had to divert multiple careless comments/ chats over the festive period to stop children from realising. I also said im fed up of the next drama, can he put his phone away and help out. Anyway, he lost it. Started shouting and stormed out slamming the door. He's never behaved like this. He hasn't reappeared and it's been over an hour, what would your reaction be? I feel like I should check he's ok but then I'm like don't shout and slam doors at me, I grew up with abuse and threatening behaviour so it does make me quite upset. I'm sitting wrapping the kids presents alone 😔 there's been no talking to him recently, everything is defensive and ends up an argument, simple chats end up in him ranting at me.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 20/12/2022 21:24

What would my reaction be - I'd be really worried. It would be so out of character that I would be genuinely concerned for him and I'd be wondering if there was something wrong at work with him working so late. I'd sit down and try to have a calm, non accusatory conversation with him.

But what your reaction should be, I can't say. Obviously it goes without saying that his behaviour is not ok. At all. But is this how he is and we're in "ltb" territory or is it completely abnormal to the point of being a bizarre reaction and indicating a possible problem he is struggling with?

Or maybe it's slap bang in the middle and he's sometimes a total twat. Only you know but whatever it is, I wish you good luck and I hope you get it sorted out. 💐

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