How do you come to terms with split and new life?

[kwiltgaf]

Just that really. Been with DP 5 years and I really thought we would have it all, kids, marriage, a home together. It seems that all that won't be happening as he has basically told me he can't be bothered to argue with me anymore and that its over. He has also said some pretty nasty things out of anger, but obviously not ok and hurtful. For context, we have gone through a bit of an arguing phase the last couple of months but I am just shocked at how he has given up so easily.

I am starting a new job near to him and unfortunately my family and friends are 100 or so miles away. I am just struggling with the idea of feeling lonely and adjusting to things being so different to what I'd imagined. If I were around loved ones I feel it'd be easier but moving back home is not possible as I can't turn down this job offer and it is much cheaper up north to buy a place which is what I have been saving for. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice for rebuilding yourself? Tbh I think I will be taking a long break from dating!

Knock the job on the head.
Move back in with your family if possible, might feel like a shit option, but in long run be the best and allow to save money.
No job/location/house is worth being lonely & miserable for.

I agree that no job is worth being miserable for but the thing is that I do actually think this job would make me happy and it would basically double my income. Where I live with family I have no hope in hell of buying a place, especially not on my own. I like the area I will be living in, I just need to adjust to living without someone who I always thought would be there.

The exact same thing happened to me 5 weeks ago apart from we both have kids from previous marriages. I had my house on the market we found a house to buy then after an argument he pulled out & within weeks it's over, he's walked away

I've spent the time since then trying to be kind to myself. Lots of veg smoothies, exercise, reading & doing anything that makes me happy. I'm still in shock, very sad & disappointed, the first week was horrendous but I'm starting to turn a corner. I've also blocked him from everything as I didn't want to move on & then see his number pop up on my phone & go 10 steps back

Once you get over the initial hurt & disappointment have a think about what's best for you & go from there, put yourself first & consider blocking him to give you time & space to heal. All the best

If I were you I'd take the new job and simply continue with my plan to buy a home and enjoy my job with or without him.

I divorced 3 years ago and have dated a bit and believe me there are many men out there if you want a new relationship when you are ready.

Just go for it see this an opportunity to success to buy a home and smash your career goals. It's his loss. Block him one everything an move on. Hard I know but as no kids no need to keep in touch.

Just create the life you want. You can.

Thank you both and sorry to hear that happened to you @Neveragain85 :( it's really awful when you feel the wool has been pulled over your eyes but you sound like you're doing all the right things to get back to your normal self.

@Raver84 I think that's exactly what I'm going to do, I wouldn't want to leave my job behind just because of him - what a wasted opportunity that would be! I guess it will just be a bit tough at first but something I will hopefully adjust to