Is this an age thing

[Quinner]

My DM can be somewhat difficult but has developed this terrible habit of being mean to people under the guise of ‘getting it up to them’.

This seems to be mean spirited teasing about something she knows that person won’t like and is kind of trying to take them down a peg or two.

Its nasty and is really making people want to spend less time with her but she just won’t stop.

Anyones else’s parents like this, is it just part of getting old and cranky ?

I don't understand the phrase "Getting it up to them" but she just sounds fairly unpleasant, to be honest. Mean spirited teasing is never nice. I don't think it's an age thing. My parents are in their 80s and perfectly pleasant and well mannered.

I think she made that expression up to be honest. It is unpleasant alright and I think it’s really starting to alienate people. She’s turning into that Nan character

Also never heard that expression, so it's hard to know what she thinks she is doing.

Google has never heard of it either.

What age is she? A change in behaviour can be a symptom of dementia.

I also don't understand what that means.

Can you give an example?

Does she mean "get it up them" ?

I understand what that means, just being horrid for horrid's sake and yes, taking them down a peg or two.

As pp said could be dementia or she could just be a bit of an old boot.

Sounds like she's bored? Wanting a reaction / attention?

It means niggling someone about something about them that you might either disagree with or they might be sensitive about.

So for instance, teasing someone about the fact that their wife doesn’t like them staying out late.

Its just niggling really. No signs of dementia but I will keep an eye out

@picnicshicnic There is a bit of boredom and dissatisfaction along with seeing the worst in people

Negging?

I've observed it too, in two elderly relatives. A sudden nastiness towards others along with being very selfish and uncaring. Sadly in both cases it turned out to be an early symptom of dementia.

My DM does this....she always says "I'm just being honest" when in fact she's just being plain nasty!

@WhatInFreshHell Yes it’s this but in a sort of ‘I’m letting them know what I think without outright saying it’ way .

@TiredButAlive That’s interesting and I will keep an eye out for that. DM has always been prickly but this is just outright mean

An age thing? How old is she?

She’s 75

Don't see a problem with that.
Is it your DP she's talking about?

@emptythelitterbox No as I said upthread it’s everyone who annoys her

You might need to give a better example because teasing someone because his wife doesn't like him staying out late doesn't really sound like anything anyone would be bothered by but you're describing her as alienating everyone.

Are you sure she is bothering other people? Or are you assuming she is because it irritates you?

Yes please clearer examples?

I have known an older woman who would make digs at weight with the subtext of helping them realise and control it before it gets worse.. she thought she was doing them a favour.

But your mum sounds like she is giving zero fucks and being blunt and truthful..the sort of stuff that everybody else skirts around but secretly thinks?Yeah people often don't take kindly to being told what you REALLY REALLY think of their life choices so unsurprising people aren't liking it particularly if she'd been a very docile hold your tongue sort of sweet and appeasing person.