Hello, 3 months ago my girlfriend (21) broke up with me (22) after a relationship of almost 3 years. 3 perfect years, we were happy with eachother, didn't fight (yes some quarrels of 15 minutes but always talked it out quickly). We had a lot in common, had some same interests but also the necessary differences. Now we broke up because her feelings were less after a difficult period where she started losing friends, much stress for university + from mid may till mid august we didn't see each other physically because of finals, holiday with our own family and a covid infection.
She really became a bit isolated, she started losing friends because she always chose me above them. In march my girlfriend had the idea to all (me and her friends) go on a trip in summer. But then in May her friends booked a trip without us. Her “best friend” did it conscious (she told her afterwards) because: “You will go on holiday with your boyfriend anyway and you will prefer a holiday with him more to a holiday with us. So yeah i didn’t even bother asking you” (pretty toxic because my girlfriend really wanted to go with them and i also told her in march/april that maybe it would be better if i wouldn’t go with her so she will more focus on her friends and to better restore the friendships with them). The other friends “just forgot asking her with them”. (Because yeah they hadn't very much contact because she didn't really wanted to meet with them and instead always wanted to be with me). This was a big bomb for her.
For almost 3 years she always wanted to be with me and i really liked that but i could also have lived with less. I also tried to convince her to spend more time with friends but she said she prefers spending time with me, which was fun and good for me.
She also told at the breakup that nothing was wrong with me or our relationship, she is the one having troubles. She wanted to stay friends. One day i went to her and we talked about everything very open for 2 hours. She also cried for like an hour because she just didn't know it anymore and also all the stress for uni. But she said that at this moment it was better to not have relationship with me and she also asked me to not wait for her because she doesn't want to keep me at a string. At this 2 hours i really felt our connection, I felt that we still had sparkles so couple days i asked her if what i thought was right. First i wanted to meet physically which she agreed but then she changed her mind and asked me to text it (probably out of fear for her own emotions and feelings?) and then she texted me she has no feelings anymore for me. (what follows is what i think, because she couldn't give me more explanation than that her feelings were less and that she started to doubt): Because of this big bomb (and also being seperated of me for 12 weeks because of finals and holiday with family and covid infection) she started doubting herself, she started doubting her life and ultimately also our relationship. I guess she started to understand that she needed to shift in life to get her good friendships back and i guess she started convincing herself that she doesn’t love me anymore.
After our breakup she restored her friendships and i am very happy for her but it is a shame that it costed our relation… Under pressure of her girl friends she also went on Tinder (they made an account for her), but then she really started using it. It is like she is searching for herself a bit and also wanting to have some talk topics with her friends.
AHHH it is really a stupid situation for me, because i love her with everything I have and I just want her back.
Oh yeah: after she went on Tinder, I asked her to leave me alone for some time. (this Tinder was also literally the week after she cried in my arms for an hour)
Now I started the contact again. I don’t mind if she would start dating others, I know that she will not find something like we had soon again and maybe she needs it for her own development.
We had a really good connection and i want to try and find that back again. I have a lot of love for her and this will not change fast so if i can’t put it in a relationship, i want to try being friends. And if we grow back to each other great, if not so be it. I won’t wait for it and just go on with my life and focus on who and what i like. Also focus on how the vibes are between us and not what she does with other, it is none of my business.
But do you think that there is still a chance for us being together again and should i do some things to make it possible? Or just focus on being with friends and enjoy that and see what comes.