How to tell??

[Seldomseen20]

So I've been off the dating scene for a while finding myself I guess and I finally have some confidence back after previous relationships.
Last one was long term and I now have no idea how you tell if someone genuinely is attracted to you.
I have started conversing with a man from work, similar age, I believe he is single, I find him attractive.
Started chatting on teams and he has sent some gifs which to me seem quite flirty. The odd message has had an "x" at the end.
I asked for his number, but in a round about way to avoid rejection if he ignored it and he was fine to hand it over (with an "x" at the end)

Any messages have been on and off flirty but not overtly so. I lot of laughing emojis at each others comments.

Now when I was dating a while ago, men just didn't put an x at the end of messages unless they felt an attraction, but times have changed a lot and I am aware that everyone is much more able to be free and themselves so does an "x" really mean anything anymore.

For background we are both early 40s and he seems confident and comfortable in his own skin.

I could just pursue and see, I know that, but I have to be conscious of creating waves at a job that I like, I don't want it to get uncomfortable if I am rejected.

If a man is interested in you and knows you're single there shouldn't be any doubt as to whether he's interested or not (Unless he is painfully shy).

If you asked for his number and have been texting I'd leave the next move to him. Then you don't need to be wary of rejection

Lots of people put these x at the end of a message. To me it's ridiculous but to each their own. Maybe he has had exchanges with women who did this. Men sometimes tend to reflect your texting style. Just ask him if he would like to meet for a drink out of work one time. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

Do I continue to add some flirting to my texts, do I stop texting and let him initiate the next message trail.
I don't want to be under the idea that the man always makes the first move.
I don't think I will physically see him until the New Year due to different shifts and leave etc and feel a little out of touch with the whole scene.

@MrsTag fyi, he was definitely first to use them in the chats with me, but I completely understand that maybe it is what he is used to in messages so has picked up on it from other people

I take absolutely no notice of x's on texts. They're just used like punctuation now, an alternate way of signing your name.

In a work environment I'd be more cautious too. I have the mindset that I like my job more than a fleeting flirt/attraction to a colleague so would want to take things very slowly so I never felt I had to leave out of embarrassment, crossed-wires, etc.

@DatingDinosaur exactly my issue.
I wasn't sure if they had become common place now (as they didn't used to be) and I really like my job so want to be cautious.

Trying to test the water I guess, make sure he is aware that I might have an interest so that if he does too then it becomes more obvious and we slowly move towards that knowledge, but if he doesn't that I don't end up feeling a fool and it ruining the atmosphere at work.

I don't want it to get uncomfortable if I am rejected

Be an adult. If being rejected will be too uncomfortable, recognise that there's no way you can be certain you won't be rejected, and don't pursue people if their rejection would be too uncomfortable for you. It's just basic looking after yourself.

If it was me and I fancied him but he wasn’t asking I would make up a story about having a spare theatre ticket - a girlfriend let me down would he like to come.
That way you don’t loose face if he says no and you know where you stand

@Watchkeys i think it's a game of risk though isn't it?
You gauge the situation before jumping in. Im still unclear of what he thinks of me so I'd rather decifer it a bit more, hence asking if the "x" on messages actually means anything anymore.
If I didn't work with him then the rejection wouldn't bother me, you just take a punt and move on if it isn't right, but I think a bit of forethought is needed before making a move on a colleague.

@Crazykatie that's an interesting idea. Maybe something to think about in the new year.

You need to grow up a bit. Adults don't work out if someone is a viable partner by asking on a forum if kisses on texts means he fancies you. Adults ask each other if they'd like to meet outside of work for a coffee, and take it from there.

@Watchkeys i think that's a bit harsh.

I'm fairly sure this entire forum is full of adults asking advice from other adults about all number of things.
Some people struggle talking about sex, having sex, others about intimacy, and me, I struggle to decifer signals of interest from other adults and would prefer not to make a total arse out of myself in my office because I misinterpreted a text message.
Having not dated in a long time I'm very aware of changes in social etiquette that may have passed me by, so no harm in asking others who may know more.
I'd never judge someone else if they needed help in an area that I found easy. I'd use my knowledge to provide scenarios and options to try out to put them at ease not criticise them and tell them to "grow up".

I genuinely think it's best not to comment if you don't have supportive advice as what is the point in you being a member of a forum if you are unable to empathise with others.

I genuinely think it's best not to comment if you don't have supportive advice

Practice what you preach, then. Best of luck finding out if he fancies you by counting kisses.

@Watchkeys if you have come here looking for advice or experience then please share. I am only too happy to provide some supportive comments or listen to experience.

But you have so far given no indication that you require anything other than dismissing someone else's genuine questions.
I am unsure what the point of your initial comment was other than to belittle me and make me feel like an inferior human because I asked for advice on something that you clearly feel confident in.
You could have used your experience to provide genuine support or guidance instead of attempting to quash me.

Note that I don't intend to "count kisses" on a text message as I am fairly sure humans are more complex and layered than that, but it can give an insight into their feelings that you can reflect on alongside their other behaviours.
I just want to figure out if I should be completely discounting this behaviour as it no longer means what it used to.
Thanks to some more empathetic mumsnetters they have offered more constructive advice than you have so I will listen to their opinions above yours as I believe they carry more weight.

If you think 'Don't put yourself out there if you think you'll be uncomfortable if you're rejected' isn't relevant advice, that's fine.

You asked for advice, I gave you some. It doesn't matter to me if you don't like it or what you think of me.

Best of luck.