Advice on this man.

[Flowereatday]

We have been dating for a year. He is very good looking, not short of attention/female company. However he has been single for many years. He is a single father to an adult child who is now grown up.

I have noticed from the beginning that he holds back a lot, I get the impression he does not want us to get close etc as at times he does not keep the connection there or even try to build more of a bond connection.

I have noticed at time he can be a little controlling and have been taken back a couple of times when he has shown this side. He also has trouble with ejaculation. I think he has ED and seems embarrassed about it a times.

I have wondered if he is secretly gay or has depression. I really don't know what is going on with him. He is a complete mystery. When I try to end it he always comes back.

Had anyone experienced anything similar?

Luckily I haven’t experienced similar. What stands out is “a little controlling”. This will turn in to “extremely controlling” given the chance. Run. He only comes back because you allow him to.

How have you been able to maintain a relationship for a year like this? Maybe he's seeing other women, maybe he doesn't want a full on relationship. You won't know unless you talk to him about it.
Next time you end it, don't take him back as nothing will change.

A middle aged man who shows signs of being controlling and has ED? Never heard of such a thing in my life. I think your experience is entirely unique OP!
Seriously though, what advice do you need? He obviously has superficial charm and is in reasonable shape so can still get women interested in him. But once they get to know him his poor sexual performance, controlling behaviour and lack lustre approach to progressing the relationship are probably deal breakers. There's not much to analyse really. Just decide if they're deal breakers for you.

Been there, wore the the shirt etc.
Just walk away before it/he drives you nuts.
I wish I had at the time. I did eventually.

If someone is still a mystery after a year, you're not compatible.

Yep my ex minus the ED. Single many years, Controlling and indifference to progressing the relationship (except on his terms). Never again!

He's commitment phobic. That's ok provided you don't want commitment.

He's not sounding great is he OP?

I literally wouldn’t waste time on him

Classic can get 'em can't keep keep 'em. I think you're blinded by how much you perceive him to be a catch. Controlling, keeps you at arm's length, doesn't move forward after a year, has ED.... just why?

You know when he comes back you don't actually have to take him back?

I don't know why you'd leap to thinking he's gay or depressed - that makes me think you don't know much about either - but still, you don't have to take him back.

Walk away. This urge to 'save him' and release his true loving nature is a fantasy.

I don't like the sound of this at all and I wouldn't be happy or satisfied with this. A mystery at a year?! When do you get to know him. My advice is get rid this is not doing anywhere.

When you say "holds back a lot" do you mean he's secretive?

*going anywhere

Dump and move on!