When do you call it quits?

[WhatTaDoo]

I decided long ago that I no longer wanted to be with my husband. He's sexually assaulted me for a long time and I can never ever feel at peace in my own home when he is here. I also have evidence that he's hired several sex workers even after saying he's sorry for the way he's treated me and wants to fix things.
I've got young children and want to be a role model of strength for them by standing up for what's right. I'm in the middle of moving a long way from where we are now based, along with H coming too and I believe he has this delusional belief that when we move everything will be fine again. He's barely lifted a finger towards packing the house up and comes up with all sorts of excuses and gaslights me when I call him out on it. I'm tired of questioning my sanity. When would you call it quits and how do you even do it?

I believe he has this delusional belief that when we move everything will be fine again — when he’s not doing a thing to help with the move?! Does he have any concept of what he’s doing wrong? Does he think the sexual assaults are just normal sex?

OP, I think your only option is to state plainly to him what you have said here about his behaviour, and tell him it’s over. And then move away with DC and start the divorce.

Do you want to move to the new place or are you better off staying. I think your well past the time to call it quits.

Are you buying a house together? If you’re selling a house, can you split the proceeds and go your separate ways?

Now seems like a good time to call it quits.

Where are you moving? Is it going to be somewhere you have friends and family support? Will you have work/the ability to support yourself and your kids?

If you have those things in place where you are moving, I would move without him. If you won't have those things and in fact are moving away from support and will be more dependent on him, you need to call a halt to it, right now.

I'll be moving closer to family and support, I love where I live now but have none of those things here. Friends yes but I don't like having to rely on leaning on them because they have their own busy lives too. We are selling the house so I want to be able to set myself up financially and I have more work where I'm moving to so finances and support aren't a worry at all.