I left my ex 2.5 years ago after 30 odd years together, the relationship had been going seriously downhill for a long time (no sex for 12 years or so - a sign of how bad things were that I can't actually remember how long it was!), so for me it was easier to get over as looking back, I'd dealt with all the "grieving the loss of the relationship" before I actually left. Once I'd actually said out loud to him "I don't think we should live together any more", it took me about 6 weeks to move, helped by the fact that all the DC were adults by then.
I'm a bit sad that I spent such a huge chunk of my life trying to make the relationship work, but I made a conscious decision when I left not to dwell on the bad bits, and to look forwards to the next 30 years of my life. I did some scary (to me) things like go on holiday alone, eat by myself in a restaurant, and after two years, the DC convinced me to have a look at OLD ("why don't you see what's out there mother!"), so I took the plunge, and have been seeing a gorgeous (younger 😉) man since we met up on what was my first ever date (dating wasn't a thing back in the day), who thinks I'm gorgeous and sexy, and makes me laugh, and feel good about myself (self confidence hits the absolute bottom when the person who you are married to, who is supposed to want you, doesn't seem to care one way or the other).
So for me, it was a very long process, but I'd gone through most of the emotional stuff before we split up, so all that was left was the admin side of things (which is still ongoing, but that's a whole saga in itself). He thinks he loves me, but what he actually means is that I filled the "wife" shaped space in his life, I didn't really exist as an individual in my own right in his head. What I am now dealing with is how the DC are managing their own relationships with him, now that I'm not there to run interference between them, which is simultaneously very sad, and entirely down to how much effort he (didn't) put in over the years.
OP, it's scary, really really scary, but for me ultimately worth it - I'm no longer stressed, depressed and ill, friends who saw me about six months after I'd left reckoned I looked at least 20 years younger, and I know now that it's not me that's crap in bed 😂But, even if this relationship doesn't last or work out, I have fun and excitement in my life again, I smile every time a message pops up from my friend, rather than dreading opening whatsapp to see what the next thing I was doing wrong was, and most noticeably (according to the DC - nothing is as brutal as a DD with an opinion!) my resting bitch face has vanished 😃