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Original poster

Dating advice for my neurodiverse son.

4 replies

Angelabdc · 17/12/2022 21:20

My son is 21. He is a handsome guy in the final year of his degree course, but he has never had any type of relationship. He tells me he is lonely, he knows some girls (he's definitely hetro) but they are already paired up - or the times he's gotten close to asking someone out he's stopped himself- because he's worried it will go wrong. He has high functioning autism and is a sensitive person, maybe a bit obsessed with gaming- but lots of boys his age are too. I want to help him, but it's a bit odd getting your Mum to help with dating advice. Does anyone have ideas of practical advice that might be useful to pass on?

OP posts:
TheHouseElf · 17/12/2022 23:23

No advice as such as my own ASD son is only 14 and hasn't got to that point, but maybe yours can find someone either through a hobby he's interested in, a Uni group/club, or failing that through on a dating app? He might find he needs to sometimes just take a risk, ask someone 'out', even if he does get it a little wrong. "Faint heart never won fair maiden". Just take things light and easy, prepare for any knock-backs, but think positively.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2022 23:27

I wonder if his friends who are girls would help. Mum can't and MN is unlikely to be better (because that's more mums Grin). But female friends may answer a heartfelt plea to fix someone up. They are also likely to be more honest than mum about any barriers.

Agapornis · 17/12/2022 23:30

When he says 'it will go wrong', what's the worst that can happen? Someone says no? But that's hardly the end of the world - there'll be others. Does he have any female friends? Spent enough time around women his own age not to feel awkward?

All the above isn't that different from any neurotypical young adult dating for the first time. Maybe he could join a group for neurodiverse young people, he may feel easier around them and build confidence? Volunteer for an autism charity?

Agapornis · 17/12/2022 23:32

Also, hope he knows that he shouldn't have to hide his neurodiversity - if prospective love interests don't like it, they're not worth dating :)
I think the Reddit neurodiversity board might be helpful, too.

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