Communication… just a little rant!

[Dippydonky]

DP is irritating me! I love him and all that but OMG!

I’ll say something and he just does not listen! I’ll maybe make a statement like ‘oh that’s a nice car’ (we’re currently looking at getting a new one at some point next year) he will reply with ‘yeah, garlic bread’. All because in his head he was thinking ‘hmm I’m hungry, would be nice to have some garlic bread with spag bol’ and completely not even acknowledging that words were exiting my mouth.

In other conversations I’ll ask him something, a direct easy question like ‘I’m making a drink, do you want a tea?’ And it will take him an eternity to mull over the question and answer. I’ve counted to 30 before. Thing is, he’s not stupid, and he’s fully capable of interacting … I’ve seen him interact, From time to time I experience it! But sometimes aaaagh!

I know men and women are ‘built’ differently and we generally think differently etc. and I want to be patient and I understand maybe it’s me, maybe I’m chatting along getting a bit boring etc. but sometimes he really really irritates me! May as well just talk to the dog! She at least humours me!

Is this all men once in a LT relationship?! Please tell me I’m not alone!

They are annoying creatures

If this is constant, I could not live like that. Is it a new thing? Because to me, your examples, if constant, are a sign of cognitive impairment. If just occasionally and mostly to you, then I would see it as huge disrespect.

@Triffid1 nope, it’s not just me. He’s done it to other people. It’s not an impairment/diagnosed conditions it’s a lack of active listening.

Are you me? This is the biggest cause of arguments between me and my DH.

Even worse is my DH is very chatty, so will actively ask questions to fill gaps, but then totally ignore the answer. Then ask the same question again and again.

Drives me bonkers. I actually find it rude.

@thirstyformore Glad I’m not alone!!! It causes ‘tiffs’ rather than full blown arguments with us!! Mine isn’t always chatty but he has that in him! Sometimes I think he just likes the sound of his own voice!!!! Maybe we should just invest in cardboard cut outs of ourselves and leave them to it!!!!!

I am of the firm belief that on most men, ears are for decorative purposes only.

Watch Shirley Valentine. At one point she just starts talking to the kitchen wall!

I try to cut down on being too chatty. I take on board what you are all saying but sometimes I think my communication style is a bit OTT for my chap.

If I really want a proper active listening conversation I really have to pick my moments.

I know from personal experience that being too long in the company of an OTT chatterbox can be wearying so I try to avoid being like that.
However, yes, I do think men’s ears are, in the main, for decoration! Drives me nuts too.

This sounds so sad to me. I can’t imagine being in a LTR with someone who didn’t actively enjoy communicating with me and with whom I had to ‘pick my moments’ if I wanted to be heard.

I prefer my cats tbh, they are extremely affectionate and will happily talk to me all day.

My DP is the same. He switches off. I'll ask him a question, and he just won't answer, so I'll have to ask again, and sometimes again, and occasionally I have to shout the question to get a response.

I can also be talking to him about something, then say 'what do you think?' and he'll say sorry what.. so I have to rewind and say it all again. Annoying.