Will I want to have sex again?

[Ririi]

This probably happens a lot, but I didn't expect to happen to me. I had a baby, he is one now and my desire for sex is non existent.

I didn't even have a vaginal birth, his birth was via c-section, so my vagina didn't have any trauma.

We do go-sleep as I am still breastfeeding in bed and enjoying it. I love his little cuddles. My partner sometimes ask when we will move the baby to his own bed. The truth is I don't want to. I also don't think that's the problem either, the limited opportunities we had for sex, I just want to cuddle and I am not interested in sex. I don't even want to play with myself. Before I had my baby, I was almost constantly horny and now once a month seems fine.

how do I change this? I used to like sex... I still love my partner and find him attractive. I enjoy kisses and cuddles. What do I do?

It’s breastfeeding that does it to you. It alters your hormones.

I think a lot of it is related to the hormones created by breastfeeding. A lot of women find that their libido doesn't come back until after they have stopped feeding.

This is completely normal. Your body wants to maximise the attention and nutrition you are giving to your little one and not risk that by getting pregnant again. It will come back once you stop breastfeeding and co-sleeping. That is, until you have another one.

Breastfeeding produces prolactin that can reduce libido as others have pointed out above. It is totally natural in the sense that breastfeeding mothers should be focussing on feeding their babies rather than having new ones.

However, please remember that you have a relationship with your partner here. That doesn't mean you need to change your approach to breastfeeding but it does mean that you need to realise that your partner's questions about moving baby into their own room should be telling you that your partner maybe feeling a bit neglected.

Also I have to say that having sex after having babies can be a bit like ripping a band aid off. It feels a bit weird and easier not to bother but once you've done it you might think you enjoyed it and it might open the door to doing it again. I'm not suggesting you have sex if you really don't want to but I found after my babies that "just doing it" and not overthinking got us a bit back in the groove of being intimate again.

Thank you! I am such an idiot I completely forgot about the hormones while breastfeeding. I was overthinking too much and assumed something was broken in me.

I know he feels neglected and would like to change our routine a bit, so that we have a more time as a couple again. It is difficult as the baby always takes priority and plans often change. I really hope our relationship can get past this.

Another vote for breastfeeding hormones. I bf for four years straight I was basically a virgin again. When I stopped it came back with a vengeance

Same here while breastfeeding. Got my mojo back really quick when we stopped.

Glad to find this thread as I feel similar and also BF. planning on moving baby to his own room at end of month and hoping I might start feeling in the mood a bit more knowing he’s not in the room. But it looks like it might not happen till I stop BF reading these posts